Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Biological Clock and Societal Concerns

“Don’t you miss having a life?”

“Umm.. I feel very much alive at the moment”

“Every woman’s life is incomplete without marriage.”

(Too bored of this topic already) “Okay”

“Don’t you want kids? Your biological clock is ticking”

Now if I was half as witty as Preity Zinta in Kal Ho Naa Ho, I would have retorted “Well, you don’t need to get married to have children”, but instead I go:

“All this doesn’t bother me. I love my freedom right now. It’s awesome”

This dialogue of mine brings on such a compassionate “oh you poor thing” look which people usually reserve for patients diagnosed with an incurable disease. Then this is followed by a deep sigh which gives rise to a self-doubt of whether I truly have a deadly disease I was unaware of. And some souls are so fascinated with this biological clock (somehow I always picture it as something sparkly like a gold watch), I feel like taking it out from its secret chamber, wrapping it in glitter paper and gifting it to them.

.. Probably write a note “Here! For you to scrutinize and stare at all day long. With love.”

The society is in some sort of denial when it comes to your happiness. Being happy when you are unmarried is considered a myth. Being married for some time and still being very much in love is considered another myth!

Before marriage:
“You should get married. Life is incomplete without marriage. You will be happy”
“But I am happy!”
Society: “I refuse to believe”

Early stage of married life:
“Ok you need to have children. Life is incomplete without children.”
“But we are fine now”
Society: “I refuse to believe”

Few years of married life:
“I am so happy. I have been blessed with the perfect husband. We share a very loving relationship”
Society: ”Who’s she kidding?”


I don’t really get it. 

13 comments:

  1. Very true Dhanya!

    People will never believe that a person is 100% happy in whatever they're doing. They like you better when you're a little miserable - it's just gossip fodder for them.

    Which is why it is lucky that it is our prerogative to decide what we want to do, or don't want to do with our lives. We're not obligated to conform to others' idea of happiness! :D

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  2. sometimes..
    F#*k the society.

    i lived half my life already trying to make the society happy and myself.
    even now i live a life, denying my depression just coz i don't want the society to see me bad.

    nice to know that someone in this world shares a similar view as mine.

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  3. When you go to a public place like a railway station and if you see a piece of paper lying on the ground, you'd most probably ignore it and mind your own business. But were it in a house whose inhabitants you know well, you'd most likely pick up the paper and put it where you think it belongs to. Society does the same thing for the people in it. It plays the role of the good citizen but the sad thing is it does it as a duty to ensure orderliness (making sure everyone follows the same rules) and not really to help its citizens individually.

    If you observe, the questions are not really questions because the answers don't really matter to them. In fact, it is a nicer way of telling you what they think you should be doing...:)

    It will take a long time for mindset of Indian people to change to accept individual's life decisions be it staying single or choosing a profession other than engineering etc etc..but alas!, until then the guinea pigs are today's generation..:(

    Nevertheless, a hilarious post! Only you can make a lemonade blog out of a lemon incident!! :)

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  4. http://www.storypick.com/bend-the-rules/ :)

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  5. Goli maro sabko! Useless people giving useless suggestions ...

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  6. My bff is in love and doesnt give a hoot about marriage. In the beginning goaded by ppl that knew her I hesitantly asked her about 'taking the next step'. Then one day I took a step back and looked at my life - ive been married for almost 5 yrs now - i planned most of it but noone of the plans worked out the way I wanted it to. Thats when I decided that I was nobody to butt into her business - because i'm yet to meet another person that has her level of confidence and jest for life!

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  7. I am about to get married and I hear a lot of 'Dont be too modern and plan for kids. Kids are God's gift let them happen. Dont wait too long. We enjoyed our life despite kids so can you'. All I can do is stare at them.

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  8. Iyshwarya - Sigh! Only if our Indian society thought like you :( And I have a strong feeling society wants me to screw up my life just for the reason that you have mentioned “they like you when you are a lil bit miserable” lol

    Archana - Yeah it can suck the life out of you. And I don't think it will stop in the near future.. Ignorance is bliss in such cases I guess

    Mohan - "Lemonade blog out of a lemon incident" I liked the way you used it! :D Thank you.. And you are so right. Society is not really looking for an answer, what they are looking for are people who will jump into the same well as they did. I know a bunch of married people who are miserable in their married life (always complaining) asking me to get married. Really now? Lol..

    Munna – Haha :D Cracked me up.. Thanks for sharing the link :)

    I’ll try 2 be truthful – Lol! Eggjactly :D

    Anu Menon - :) I guess that’s what everyone should look into first – if the person is really truly happy with the life they are leading right now before attacking them with advice.

    Harini – Haha.. Don’t let them get to you ;) All the best dear.. May you have a happy married life..

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  9. Love your observations and the way you narrate it. :)

    And its true, everyone wants to ensure everyone else is slightly miserable.. cos its just not fair for one person to be truly freely and unreasonably happy.

    (And for this reason alone, even said 'happy' people sometimes try to tone down their happiness to ensure safety from the evil eye.)

    You go be happy!

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  10. Thanks Cna :) I agree with the toning down happiness part. We see so many people here who after having a good laugh start regretting it "Why did we laugh so much? To cry later?".

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  11. Yea..your right..people just have lots of spare time so they just pass it by trying to interfere into others lives instead of minding their own business...!!

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  12. This was so true, that's why people say just believe in yourself and follow your dreams. Good witty post :)

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Scribble away....!