Shortly after I wrote my first post on how I'm getting divorced soon, a blogger messaged me asking 'I'm going to get into an arranged marriage soon. Should I be worried?'. First of all, my purpose of writing that post wasn't to scare people, but since the question came up here's the answer anyway.
You Should Be Worried If...
1. You're totally incompatible with your partner. Of course, partners need not always be perfect, but there's a saying 'Appreciate the similarities, respect the differences'. If you are not able to do that, and if you force your partner into thinking the same way that you do - then get ready for friction - whether you like it or not.
2. You're an egoistic person. Ego has known to kill relationships - don't let your's bring something so precious as a relationship down in the dumps.
3. You're boring. Do you tend to take things way too seriously? Do you start yelling 'What? Why? Where? How?" at the drop of a hat? Not done.
4. You're an old fashioned person expecting a modern partner. Please stick to people who believe in the very same thoughts as you do. There are some who will like a person based purely on looks and then think "chalo.. let me say yes.. later on I will try to change the person by hook or by crook". Learn to accept the person as they are. Small adjustments are necessary in any relationship, but that doesn't mean you try to totally change your better half.
5. You're a person who believes only in 'take' and no 'give'. It's just not done if a relationship is one-sided where a person has to keep sacrificing for the other's happiness. It's all about 'give & take'. If you are not ready to give at all, don't get into a relationship.
6. You tend to get violent when angry. Are you not able to control your anger? Maybe it's time to hit those anger management classes. Some people tend to get physically abusive too when angry. Sad...
7. You're not emotionally, physically & financially ready to get into a marriage.
You need not be worried...
1. If you love your other half to death. All the adjustments, compromising will then come automatically.
2. If you believe that marriage is a life long commitment (your partner should feel the same way too), and your main goal is to last through the good times as well as the bad; to live many many years together. When both you and your partner have that kind of a mindset, my kind of a situation will not happen to you.
3. You make adjustments according to the situation (goes for both guys & girls).
4. You do not incline to physical abuse when angry (very very important point!).
Well that's it I guess! On a positive note, divorce cases in India are still very much rare. So don't judge things by other people's experiences. It need not happen to you. Things need not get so messy. It's my destiny and I'm embracing it with open arms.. because of this - today, I am a happy & healthy person (touch wood). I rather be single than be stuck in a very VERY wrong relationship.