Wednesday, May 16, 2012

The Violin Player

He plays the violin beautifully. I met him for the first time at a family friend’s mehndi function and was totally blown away by how effortlessly he played out the most beautiful of melodies. After each performance, I had to give him a standing ovation, and he would smile back appreciatively. Friends teased and taunted about how he kept looking at me and smiling, but I haughtily dismissed them all off. 

So yeah without really keeping the mystery for last and going for a “I was talking about this guy, who did you think it was?” (a la the new Priyanka Chopra ad), I am talking about the famous musician Balabhaskar here. It felt awesome hearing him play from such a close proximity, and on top of that a small group of girls (including yours truly) made it a point to scream at our loudest of voices and give him all the applause he needed for rendering all compositions so beautifully. He would smile generously at us after each performance (except that one time when he himself realized that he didn’t play up to the mark and requested us not to clap or scream by showing the “stop” signal). So our group of girls stopped clapping midway and pretended that we were swatting away mosquitoes instead. We are classy people. We know exactly when a rendition is not up to the mark and when it is. Yet we kept looking for more “stop” signals. Just to make sure of our own classiness.. 

Friend (to me): “Go get his autograph no? You’re a big fan right?

Me: “Running for autograph and all? Ayye… so not me!

Another friend comes in and announces she’s going to get his autograph.

Me: “Yeah! What are you waiting for? Let’s go!”.

Just to give her company mind you!

So I stand there swooning and telling him “you’re the best!”. And he gives his Chinese eyed smile to me and everyone else. Couldn’t help thinking “Does he ever stop smiling? Don’t his cheeks hurt?” As impulsive as I’m, I wanted to blurt out the question, but I refrained. Thank God for small mercies. He then went on to tell us how our little group was the most energetic of the lot that day and how it felt really nice to see us enjoying his songs so much. That was really sweet of him to say all that considering we thought we acted completely drunk..

Then I noticed something in his hand…

A handbag…

A PINK handbag…

A PINK ladies handbag…

What the… (*insert Arnav Singh Raizada tone from Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon*)

And this pretty petite lassy comes up from behind him, smiles at all of us and we are informed that this Pink-kurti clad (I think the color is going to make me sick from now) is Balabhaskar’s wife. At that moment I could hear his own rendition of "tu hi re" from Bombay ringing in my ears. 

Another one bites the dust.

Oh well…

As you know, the show must go on…

Next please!

P.S: For all those who haven't seen Balabhaskar perform, here's a video (yup, it's tu hi re from Bombay).

P.P.S: The video is not mine. I so wish I had taken a video that day..

Tuesday, May 01, 2012

Compatibility vs. Adjustment

How much does one “adjust” in a relationship? Does compatibility not matter at all?

I remember when my marriage proposals were going on, I kept stressing on the importance of compatibility, that electric chemistry between two people. When you meet or interact with that special someone, something should just click within you. Unfortunately, our Indian society (or most of it) does not understand this concept. Girls especially are just required to get along with the other half no matter what. If not, they are considered bold, head-strong – traits which are not exactly considered complimentary for an Indian girl. The perfect Indian girl should bear anything (and I mean EVERYTHING) that comes her way with a smile on her face. The perfect Indian girl should take abuses (mental & physical) from her spouse and not complain about it. The perfect Indian girl should be looking oh-so-awesome even when she’s dead tired from housework. The perfect Indian girl should never ever whine about anything, should never ever get angry or God forbid even show it. You get the drift. 

Before marriage, you end up thinking you will be what you are and no one can stop you. But somehow it doesn’t work that way. Nowadays when I see unmarried girls saying “I don’t need to change anything about me. The guy will accept me the way I am even after marriage”, I can’t help but sympathize with them. No one, I repeat NO ONE remains the same after marriage. You adjust a little and the so does the other person and in between all these adjustments you change a little. For some people the changes and adjustments required are so drastic that you lose your identity in between all of it. That’s when you know your relationship is going downhill. 

I have always stressed on compatibility and after going through personal experience and going through some others as well I feel this is one of the most important spices that contribute to the zest & flavor of a relationship. No compatibility means no similarity in thoughts which means no passion! And how can a relationship survive without even a bit of passion? This goes out to all the people out there – learn to trust your instincts. If you feel that compatibility is the most important factor and you go against your own belief and succumb to what others tell you (in my case I was told “clicking” with someone isn’t important, you just have to see whether he’s a nice guy.. and I fell for that), you will end up where I am today. Don’t fall into pressure, don’t be afraid of going against the norms if it makes you happy. In the end it’s your life you’ve got to live and not theirs. I’ve learnt my lesson and I'm never ever falling for something I don't believe in ever again...