Saturday, February 19, 2011

The Ultimate Truth About Marriage That Every Girl Should Know!

I had Nidhi asking me a question the other day - "Does life really change after marriage?". I remember having this very doubt the day I got engaged. Does life really change? Will I get time to do the things I like after tying the knot? I'm not an experienced person, but if you are looking for true facts from a newly-wed then this is the post for you! I and R celebrated our first E-Day (engagement day) anniversary on Feb 7th and this alone makes me feel that I have 'matured' enough to give you some marriage gyaan. So get ready for some hard-core truths! You may or may not like them - but that's what MOST marriages are all about.

1. Yes, Life does Change! - Whether you like it or not, life changes big time after marriage. You don't really get time to do things you like -- or maybe you can if you squeeze out enough time in between all the chores. But then again, you feel too exhausted by the end of the day to enjoy these things that you feel so passionate about! I'm working from home and at the same time I have to do my everyday chores which doesn't leave me with much time for my hobbies like reading. I have yet to finish 'The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari' which I had brought along with me to Dubai from India. 3 months and yet to finish a book? That's new for me! Nidhi told me that there are maids in the house to help her mom out with work. This hasn't stopped the lady from supervising everything and anything that happens in the house. The bottomline is that even with help around the house, married women hardly get time to do the things that they once upon a time used to love. Didn't exactly like this fact? Truth hurts afterall!

2. Men are Tuned to Rest After Work - Most men love to return from work and relax in front of the big tube. Once upon a time, I used to daydream that I and my husband would be cooking together and doing all chores together (every women has that dream I guess and I can see the men reading this guffaw out there :) but then you have to get used to the fact that such men hardly exist!

3. Start Learning! - Girls who know next to nothing about cooking or cleaning up or washing or just about any household work -- should start learning! More so because you have to be prepared for questions like - "So what did you cook today" from almost everyone. And you don't want to give a bad impression by replying - "Umm. Noodles!". Btw, noodles are so easy to make no? I would have made noodles everyday -- but my husband hates it! Which brings me to the next point....

4. Most Husbands Hate Easy Recipes - I have lost count of the number of men who have said "Yuck! I hate bread" or "I hate noodles"! So if you think you can escape by making such easy things, you cannot be more wrong! I had a number of such "easy meals" planned out before marriage, but now you will find that list shredded away into teeny weeny pieces somewhere in the garbage bin.

5. Sometimes It's Better to Agree with Your Husband Even if You're Right - We women are always right no? I can see all the girls nodding :D But sometimes our partner refuses to acknowledge that. So what do you do then? You just nod along and agree to everything he says and let him learn from his own mistakes.

6. Your Husband Most Probably Will Get Really Emotional When Sick - I have yet to see a guy who doesn't whine when sick. My dad gets very irritated and sad when he's ill. My husband does too. At times, you wonder if they are actually going to die from a cold or fever. No, really! The point is that you girls shouldn't feel too overwhelmed when you end up seeing your "macho man" putting his guard down when sick. It's normal! As long as you give enough care and attention, this phase too shall pass smoothly.

7. The First Thing in the Morning You Might Hear from Him Will Be 'Chai Please' - Men usually are a hungry and thirsty lot. You can't blame them if that's the first thing that comes to their mind when they wake up. :D

These are only some of the points that you girls should keep in mind. I will come up with more once I complete my first year of marriage (.. just to be safe :D).

On a serious note, I come to know every other day about how couples are getting divorced without even completing a year together. The first year of marriage can be VERY difficult maybe coz both of you have certain expectations in mind for each other. We are all looking for THE perfect partner who does everything according to your wish. There's nothing like a perfect partner at first but with time by compromising and making little adjustments you can make your marriage just perfect!

Why do YOU think so many marriages are breaking down nowadays? The older generation won't even hear of such a thing! Usually back then, the women folk used to remain quiet while the husbands made all the important decisions. Nowadays the girls are outspoken and openly pinpoint what they feel about things -- and not all guys (with the notable "male ego") can take it. Is THAT a reason? Can education be blamed for making girls so independent and less tolerant nowadays? Is it wrong for girls to be considered "equal" to men when our Indian society is not yet ready to believe that times have changed? Or is our society or culture to be blamed for bringing up guys with so much of importance -- which is maybe why they feel irritated when a woman dominates them? Share your thoughts. Would love to know :)