Monday, December 27, 2010

Why You Shouldn't Advertise your Blog on Social Networking Sites Before Getting Married


This applies ONLY if you are planning to get into an arranged marriage. Now before you go ahead and say that you have absolutely no plans whatsoever to get into one, let me tell you that neither did I! :D But destiny (*looks skywards*) is responsible for where I'm today! And I'm not complaining...

We all know how powerful social media marketing can be! You can increase the number of blog followers, traffic etc etc by just posting your blog link to your Twitter, Facebook or Orkut profile. Few years back, I felt the need to bring forth my blog to a larger audience and like many others ended up putting my blog link on social networking sites. Then came the time when I reached (*shy is coming*) a marriageable age and my parents no longer could wait to get rid of me.

Proposals started coming, and somehow whenever a new proposal came in I could see an increase in my blog traffic. All of a sudden I would get hyper thinking my blog has finally got the recognition it rightfully deserves and on further inspection (TY statcounter.com!) I would find out that all the traffic is coming from just a single source.... and from the exact same location where I got the proposal from. Somehow the grin gets swiped off my face and I wait for the meet up with the prospective groom to be only asked the question - "So you blog eh?"

Nothing wrong in that question, you might say! But what if he blabbers on and on about your life? No conversation happens. He already knows everything -- Mr. know-it-all. And he wants justifications to all your posts - "Why did you say that? What did you mean by that?" And you just go "Errrr!" with wide eyed innocent eyes not knowing that a simple "Marriage is for bored people" would bring so much of controversy in the future!

I need not tell you that once a proposal comes in, the guy/girl searches for your profile on social networking sites to find out the ugly truth about you. My cousin who smokes as if there's no tomorrow had mentioned he's a non-smoker on his marriage profile, but on his Orkut profile he had mentioned 'occasionally'. Even if you intend to lie, do it properly -- remember not to forget about the different lies you tell to different people! Note them down, if necessary. And it's best to tell the same lie to different people so that you need not remember to whom you told the dreaded lie to. Similarly if need be, make it a point to mention that you're a non-smoker in ALL of your social networking site profiles.

Coming back to the point, prospective brides and grooms search social networks to know more about you. If they see you hugging 3 or 4 people of the opposite sex, you are going to get a bad impression and probably you would end up getting rejected. I mean, most of us want to be the one and only. We don't want to land up in your next profile picture as 'one' among the many. Aaah.. you see the reason behind all the various rejections now doncha? :D Remove that picture.. NOW!

While scanning your profile, nothing could interest the prospective bride or groom more than a personal blog. More juicy details for them, more embarrassing consequences for you. They will read and read -- almost every post of yours -- and will form an impression about you even before they meet you. That's not very good, no?

What you Should Do Before Getting Married

  • Remove your blog link from all social networking sites

  • Remove 'blogging' from your interests. Some smart asses will even try to google for your blog if they find out that you are a passionate blogger.

What you Shouldn't Do Before Getting Married

  • Give your blog link away in the first meet up itself. It's better to talk to him directly about your life, no? Why limit your conversations? ;D

Ok, enough of the gyaan! You now know what's best for you. Remember, this applies only for people who have entered a marriageable age and are thinking of getting into an arranged marriage. Rest of you can rest in peace. Amen.

Saturday, December 04, 2010

I Should Learn to Shut Up Sometimes!


Hi!

I'm Dhanya. Pleased to meet you! *gives you a firm handshake*

I'm generally a very nice person at heart (or I like to think as such; yes I can be pretty ambiguous!) but the only thing that I feel is not quite right about myself is my oh-so-charming innocence. Don't think of me as an egoistic bitch as yet. No, not yet! You see, I live in a world which seems to have double meanings for everything and anything. How am I supposed to survive in this big bad world of innuendos? Pray, tell me! Tell me no?

The other day I was talking to R's friend and she asked me rather casually whether I wake up early nowadays. I replied, 'Not really! You can call us up anytime at night though. We are full time awake!'. Now, she started giggling and R was raising his eyebrows and shaking his head at me. Seeing their weird reactions, I paused for a moment or two before I realised the dreaded 'innuendo' has hit me again! Don't you get it? It's okay if you use a sentence like that if you have been married for over 20 years, but it's a strict no-no to use such phrases when you are still fairly newlyweds. *Sigh*

This isn't happening to me for the first time mind you! Previously, I told another friend to change his display picture. It was a nice picture of him showing off his skills in bowling. But he had it for a tad too long. Nothing wrong in suggesting a change of pic right? WRONG! If you use phrases like 'You have been holding balls for too long. Time to put them down', what do you think this big bad world of double meanings will interpret the innocent phrase as? Huh huh? Yes, apparently that's what I told this friend of mine. Realization dawns later as usual. *Sigh*

Yes...

I should learn to shut up sometimes! :(