Monday, December 27, 2010

Why You Shouldn't Advertise your Blog on Social Networking Sites Before Getting Married


This applies ONLY if you are planning to get into an arranged marriage. Now before you go ahead and say that you have absolutely no plans whatsoever to get into one, let me tell you that neither did I! :D But destiny (*looks skywards*) is responsible for where I'm today! And I'm not complaining...

We all know how powerful social media marketing can be! You can increase the number of blog followers, traffic etc etc by just posting your blog link to your Twitter, Facebook or Orkut profile. Few years back, I felt the need to bring forth my blog to a larger audience and like many others ended up putting my blog link on social networking sites. Then came the time when I reached (*shy is coming*) a marriageable age and my parents no longer could wait to get rid of me.

Proposals started coming, and somehow whenever a new proposal came in I could see an increase in my blog traffic. All of a sudden I would get hyper thinking my blog has finally got the recognition it rightfully deserves and on further inspection (TY statcounter.com!) I would find out that all the traffic is coming from just a single source.... and from the exact same location where I got the proposal from. Somehow the grin gets swiped off my face and I wait for the meet up with the prospective groom to be only asked the question - "So you blog eh?"

Nothing wrong in that question, you might say! But what if he blabbers on and on about your life? No conversation happens. He already knows everything -- Mr. know-it-all. And he wants justifications to all your posts - "Why did you say that? What did you mean by that?" And you just go "Errrr!" with wide eyed innocent eyes not knowing that a simple "Marriage is for bored people" would bring so much of controversy in the future!

I need not tell you that once a proposal comes in, the guy/girl searches for your profile on social networking sites to find out the ugly truth about you. My cousin who smokes as if there's no tomorrow had mentioned he's a non-smoker on his marriage profile, but on his Orkut profile he had mentioned 'occasionally'. Even if you intend to lie, do it properly -- remember not to forget about the different lies you tell to different people! Note them down, if necessary. And it's best to tell the same lie to different people so that you need not remember to whom you told the dreaded lie to. Similarly if need be, make it a point to mention that you're a non-smoker in ALL of your social networking site profiles.

Coming back to the point, prospective brides and grooms search social networks to know more about you. If they see you hugging 3 or 4 people of the opposite sex, you are going to get a bad impression and probably you would end up getting rejected. I mean, most of us want to be the one and only. We don't want to land up in your next profile picture as 'one' among the many. Aaah.. you see the reason behind all the various rejections now doncha? :D Remove that picture.. NOW!

While scanning your profile, nothing could interest the prospective bride or groom more than a personal blog. More juicy details for them, more embarrassing consequences for you. They will read and read -- almost every post of yours -- and will form an impression about you even before they meet you. That's not very good, no?

What you Should Do Before Getting Married

  • Remove your blog link from all social networking sites

  • Remove 'blogging' from your interests. Some smart asses will even try to google for your blog if they find out that you are a passionate blogger.

What you Shouldn't Do Before Getting Married

  • Give your blog link away in the first meet up itself. It's better to talk to him directly about your life, no? Why limit your conversations? ;D

Ok, enough of the gyaan! You now know what's best for you. Remember, this applies only for people who have entered a marriageable age and are thinking of getting into an arranged marriage. Rest of you can rest in peace. Amen.

38 comments:

  1. Heyyy..Nice to see post from you..

    I am sure by this time you must have adjusted well in your married life... I am not experienced so don't know how much time it takes to get adjusted :)..ok..enough of my bakbak..:D

    I have already changed my facebook privacy settings so that noone can search me :)
    .. I did it for unwanted relatives and college friends/colleagues..

    I guess, one should also change the "About me" thing to match whatever he/she is written on matrimony site :).. jamana hi manipulation ka he ..kya kare:D

    ReplyDelete
  2. Damn good post! Every man/woman who wishes not to become a nun/ Father ( of course, the church one), should read this and i would like to go one step further by stating that this blog post should be printed and framed( or made into small book which could be carried in the jeans pocket)and put on display on the wall of every houses.Alas, if you could write this before 2005, but i was lucky that orkut/facebook didnt exist then....

    But let me tell you, there is no difference between arranged and love marriages.....Its just in the minds...I feel arrange marriages are really exiting, bcoz you dont know the person and a relationship blossoms out of nothing....Mine wasnt an arranged marriage in the real sense, but once our parents came to know they arranged rest of the thing....So it was an arranged marriage too.....I feel you shouldnt hook up( ding-dong, you know what!) before marriage like in my case, so it was really exciting and we still were anxious for those first few weeks after marriage...But i do feel you have to be 125 % truthful to your partner before marrige and not play with someones life....you will never be in peace unless you are truthful to yourself.....TC.Hope the honeymoon is over!:)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Just had to say, if a guy comes to see me for marriage, and he is stupid / close minded enough to have a problem with me having fun with some of my guy friends, and then "rejecting" *rolls eyes* me, then I think I'll be very happy.... Imagine spending my life with a guy who is that insecure :) .. and any guy who thinks / wants to be the first guy to ever enter a girls life, should probably be looking for a 15 year old. :|

    .. and, its not just marriage, I told a couple of people at office that I blog, (which I advise against totally btw) and the next thing I know is that they are spending more time in my blog than me myself :D which is well... weird. People get a life. You have a job, you will get fired if you dont do it! :P

    Cheers,
    Annie.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Well, I am smiling and don't know what to say . . .

    Joy always,
    Susan

    ReplyDelete
  5. Loved your post Dhanno...ahh, this is another great reason for staying anon :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. wow perfect post dhanya!..love it :)....so it applies only for arranged marriage ha?rest can be in peace..haha...I agree on posting the link in social networking sites.now everyone knows about each other even before meeting the person..esp with fb!shessh.....

    ReplyDelete
  7. I would be happy to increase the traffic on my blog as its on the verge of dying. No hits nothing, tell me what shud I do ? should I already have the link on the social networking sites, should I now get married ?

    ReplyDelete
  8. thnx fr the tips.. :) i think this is called undrstanding ppl.. i m planning 2 post on fb just 2 drag my frens to my blog.. dnt knw hw ppl wil take tht later on.. lets see.. but a gud post here.. (*shy is coming*) - so funny.. :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Haha..i would like to know how R came to know tht u blog? do he read ur posts b4 u post them or is he like the rest of us?

    ANyways I dont use my real name...the only one clue tht links JON to the me is the profile pic...
    So I am planning to share the details of my married life and spouse w/o any inhibitions even aftr gettin married!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. advice taken and will be followed to the T!!! :D

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hmm...so i can rest in peace!! :D

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh hey.
    You know what? Your blog is simply mind-blowing. I swear, Its amazing :)
    Anyways, I am a new reader/follower so kinda impressed.
    And And.. Interesting. This is was sorta funny from me to read cos I'm just 13 (There's alot of time for me to get married). But yeah, Cool :D
    Oh listen, Do visit me okay. I mean my blog :)
    Good Luck Mate.
    Love
    X

    ReplyDelete
  13. haha... wat an irony!
    I wish my boy friend EVER read my blog!! :|

    ReplyDelete
  14. Ok will keep it in mind .. :)

    I dont write much about my personal life here for that i got my personal diary ... so shud not be a problem ..

    Bikram's

    ReplyDelete
  15. Annie is right yo! There is a saying in Malayalam (which I dun intend to put up ofcourse (for u wont understand it! :P) ) which matches these kind of people and their activities.

    But yeah, I guess my aliyan was one rare creature who didn't spend time on ur blog (though he did something else! :P) and so has it come good for ya.. :)

    Happy New Year!

    Love,
    Nikhil

    ReplyDelete
  16. Ha ha ha! Nice post. Just to add more.. during my sister's match making process.. we also googled all possible FB, Orkut and linkedin to check if the details mentioned were true. Truns out my Jiju did the same. So yeah very true.

    ReplyDelete
  17. i think all personal bloggers should be completely anonymous..

    ReplyDelete
  18. found guilty of the same crime...

    ReplyDelete
  19. Oh fairy Godmother, I can really learn a thing or two if I follow you blog religiously. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  20. this one came just when i needed it..

    am getting married soon..:) :) :)

    ReplyDelete
  21. :D (I know it isn't meant to be funny but I had fun reading this :D )

    ReplyDelete
  22. nice one. but even bad then u are already accepted and ur better half gives ur link to his good sisters/brother to show hw good u write!!! and there all the suspense goes and all the drama starts like u said!! esh!!!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Hi Dhanya..... I could relate so much to this post :). You just cant believe... the same thing happened to me as well. Even mine was an arranged marriage the guy on my first conversation with him said that , he knows all about me and how he read my orkut profile , blog blah blah..........

    The only expression I could let out was... " What the HELL" :)

    Loved your post :)

    ReplyDelete
  24. I had a smile reading all through coz I am going through the same. First thing to do on receiving a proposal is googling, facebooking etc. But then there are joys of being an anonymous blogger like me...

    I agree should never talk about smoking during marriage chats. I lost a good proposal as I failed to convince that I smoke only occassionally

    ReplyDelete
  25. That's precisely why people assume online monikers...the weeping willow, wretched heart, sobbing sister. That way you can crib, bitch, vent out all your dirty secrets and get away with it :P

    ReplyDelete
  26. greetings,

    hope everything is fine at your end, :)


    in-spite of the :P No further read-on right at the start for "non arranged marriage expectants" :P :) I read this one.... loved it :)

    as usual the narrative was strong enough to have a complete hold.

    well... I can relate to what you meant, when U said... its not a fulfilling experience to hear out everything about you from a stranger in such an acquaintance. One of my friends was a very active tweet-tweet person, (she belongs to a conservative muslim household), when her parents seeked to get her engaged in an arranged fashion.... a big bawaal happened, when the brother of the groom-to-be tracked her...and observed the continues use to F** word in her tweets :P It all sounded very funny when she narrated the incident, but actually....it rather turned her world upside down, she was refrain from further use of net and what not :(

    The point is...that a lot of things, being said, texted and published on tweets, status updates and even blogposts....is done in a spirit of its own...that can be in the wee of gloomy day or in the glitter moment of some light humour.... sadly...people who don't actually belong to the game of it, take things in their literal manner and this is actually....a generation gap of regular net users and the others

    I wonder..the problem what one can have by pics, smoking status etc when they are going for matrimony....
    plus.... there is also a human tendency to notice the grey spots, for example.... my status update for a tsunami rehab cause might go unnotice when goin-un-n-down in my FB page.... but my appreciation of a psychedelic suicide rock song....would definately be stared and read upon time and again.

    anyways...
    no plans for marriage....
    no plans for searching someone's profile to marry....
    :P this was fun to read from someone who has gone through the phase... :) awesome post again dhanu

    ReplyDelete
  27. Ahhhh... I think i've lost(read happily) out on some idiots thanks to my blog posts... I cannot even start on how much trouble it got me into at my work place :D but all said and done the blogs out there and the person is right in front of you - you gotta decide, no? if they fall in love or out of love with the blog - gud riddance!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Annie is right...why would you want to be with a person who is so narrow minded. It's a good riddance and a clear filter regarding which people to avoid. I would not like to be with a person who is so narrow minded....and yes, we all write posts (at least i do) in THAT moment, and we may or may not feel strongly enough later on about it. People change, time change, situations change....if someone is judging you based on what happened 3 years back in a five minute conversation with a stranger (for eg.), i better be not with that person.

    But yes, i do agree that if the other person comes after reading your blog, the joy of having a conversation for the first time is just not killed, its brutally smashed.

    PS: I was under the same dilemma these days, should i or should i not hide my blog....i guess after this post, i will not...let's see what happens :)

    PPS: first comment after close to a year reading u! :)

    ReplyDelete
  29. Enjoyed reading your posts. Great blog!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Hahaha.. I was wondering what personal life event were you referring to on facebook :D turns out madam is giving gyan to the unweds ;) haha hilarious but true, have seen it happening around me :P

    ReplyDelete
  31. Loved this post... :) With this being my first visit to your blog, it would be sufficient to say that looking for many such posts from you... And haan absorbed all the gyaan and would follow this when the right time comes... :)

    ReplyDelete
  32. Loved this post... :) With this being my first visit to your blog, it would be sufficient to say that looking for many such posts from you... And haan absorbed all the gyaan and would follow this when the right time comes... :)

    ReplyDelete
  33. That is such a nice informative post :D..I will defn keep in mind.. if I happened to get married soon next year :D

    ReplyDelete
  34. awesome Dhanya....good advice...people neet it...infact not only for matrimony purposes but also when one is job hunting.

    i can say i went underground last year for similar reasons as i was job hunting. anyways i am back again on blogville as i missed it bigtime and i am looking forward to read more about u....how is married life gal?

    u can update your blogroll with my new link as http://miasdiaries.blogspot.com

    hugs

    ReplyDelete
  35. haha...so cute a post this is!
    i hope all prospective brides n grooms to be took the cue...
    waise jo hain it will anyways come out someday...
    let the shock come before the calm;-)

    ReplyDelete
  36. hehhehe this hold not just for marriages darling :P
    A uncle of mine ended on blog and praised my poetry once (I was not annonymous then) and told my dad and then it went to bhai and then rest is history....blogging= time waste which shd be used for career.....and dhaam came the annonymous me :P

    ReplyDelete
  37. Hai,to introduce myself,I am Mridula. Accidently I happened to read ur post and I would like to say that u made an interesting point here ,which i would consider seriously ,me, being a prospective as u mentioned, has just started blogging and has posted the link to my profiles.....after flipping thru ur piece of advice, I made my blog readable only to selected friends ...let not my prospective would be shape an impression before actually meeting me.... :-P :-D

    ReplyDelete
  38. interesting one, and to say... i too was a victim.. :)

    ReplyDelete

Scribble away....!