Thursday, March 11, 2010

Spare Me The Pre-Nuptial Advices... and Jokes!


Yes, I am going to get married in few months... but what's with all the advising?


*Yawn* Advice #1 - "Marriage is all about adjustment. Girls should always adjust more, tolerate more, think more, understand more, clean more, sweep more, cook more..." (I hate being a girl sometimes. I truly do!)


*Yawn* Advice #2 - "Don't make your husband spend too much money on you. There should always be a limit!" (WTF? If he's ready to splurge on me, I should let it be no?)


*Yawn* Advice #3 - "Dhanya, don't call him patti, thendi and all that! He's your husband.. your husband parameshwar! The apple of your eye! How can you use such swear words on him???" (*Yawn* My would be... my wish...)

*Yawn* Advice #4 - (From Mr. Pati Parameshwar himself)


R - "Every morning I expect you to touch my feet. I'm elder to you remember? Show me some respect!"

Me - *Gives him a WTF look* If that's the case mister, get ready to fall down each morning!!!!

As if the advices aren't enough, I have to suffer some double meaning jokes from relatives and friends alike...

Mom (giving me a naughty look) - "It seems R wants to get married to you asap. Heee heee heeeeee !!!! What does that mean eh???" (bursts into giggles)
Me - !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me - So I went out with R....
Friend - Oooooohhhhh !!! And... ? *Wink*
Me - And I went for a movie with him....
Friend - WOW! Annnnnddd.... ? *Wink Wink*
Me - Then movie finished and we got back home...
Friend - What happened in theatre ehhhhh ??? *giggles the girly giggle*
Me - !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I know getting married is a huge thing... but really, why make it so embarrassing and difficult? :(

58 comments:

  1. He is right!! :)))

    Enjoy these days.... ;)

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  2. Hehehaha!

    Who told you to get married anyways?

    Why don't you try living with him for a couple years before you really decide?

    Oops! I'm giving random advice again!

    Sorry Sis!

    Yawn Advice # 1: My sweetheart, the love of my life, my darling, still does not know how to switch on the Gas stove. Ask her, and she would not know where the broom closet is in my house. And the vacuum cleaner, she does not even know we own one!

    Gah!

    Yawn Advice # 2: Money, is a sensitive issue. While in courtship, the spending seems nice. Later after the honeymoon is over, it all comes down to taxes, medical insurance pay out's, salaries to maids, car installments, and etc. etc.

    Everyone, and I mean everyone, changes with time.

    Some learn to manage money better, some just waste and live life one day at a time.

    Yawn Advice # 3; I have no idea what those words mean, so suit yourself!

    Yawn Advice # 4: This is something very personal. I'm going to keep my mouth shut on this one. I don't see the plus or minus of it anyways. It's just, that.

    And you don't have to listen to me. I'm bald. The sun gets straight to my brain and fries it.

    Love and good wishes to both of you!

    Hugs!

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  3. LOL!!!!!! ROFL!!!!!!!

    PS: Its all going to be okayyy!

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  4. i can so get that! its happens cauz i guess the people around u expect much more than what uve actually planned...like for my best friend..her folks thought she was pregnant when she complained of nausea just months after marriage..She called in to say "are these guys nuts? Is that all they can think of"

    But it is weird and fun at the same time...Enjoy The unwanted attention! For u may not get it later!

    god Bless!

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  5. hahahahha!! Dhanya.. I like the Advice number 4 :P *winks winks* and *giggles the girly giggle*

    All the Besht Dhanya!!

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  6. he he!!i cant stop laughing, i m sorry i shudnt b doing this but jus cant help it!! And the advice....seriously why cant ppl keep it to themselves. :P

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  7. haha..can seriously imagine this stuff happening with u!!
    i mean the moment these guys get to know that marriage is round the corner, its like almost a given thing that u r gonna be bombarded with the most silliest n weirdest of questions n jokes n double entendres n wat not from them!! the bride/groom to be has to be maha prepared for shit like this.. so all these conversations come free with the whole marriage package i believe(no matter how much u detest the whole thing!!) :D

    So the best thing to do would be: just take the whole stuff with a pinch of salt n enjoy(or loathe) it till it lasts ;) (lol i almost made myself sound like a free ka advice giver :P )

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  8. Lmao.. :D

    That was an aweeeomee postt.. :D But yeah,U shudn be calling him swear words atleast..Paavamale.. :P Imagine him doing the same every day and am sure u will sue him with the help of ur friends.. :O

    And hey c'mon,2we can just joke around..Verenthucheyyaamm?? !! So,u went for a movie...??? :D :D Nadakatte,nadakatte... :P

    Love
    Nikhil

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  9. lol...

    need any more advices??? :P

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  10. I kept a low profile and escaped this stage :)

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  11. wow first to comment. :)
    Nice post .Enjoy those jokes while you can. You might miss them once you are married...

    Advice #3 is the best..

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  12. Hello! Been reading your blog for a couple of days now, and this post warranted an experienced comment ;)
    For the unwanted gyan advice, I always found that a sarcastic smirk and rolling of eyes worked.
    And for the embarassing ones, well nothing works better than even more embarassing retorts! Try it if possible! :D

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  13. lol It happens with everyone i guess..

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  14. Advice no 3 Rofl! :D

    Oh well I laughed the whole way! :)

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  15. there was this small thing my pa said recently ...

    a couple..wer the man was deaf nd dumb..and the woman in perfect health..
    When I told daddy...that ain't that injustice..he tells me..
    it's not ..cos he has to depend on sumone it better that it's his wife...
    BUT ...
    I wun call it a just way until and unless...a man who's perfectly all right can do the same for a woman who's physically challenged...

    I guess...doing sumthing for the person who you love so much ain't so difficult/bad provided...he too feels the same...

    it's give and take..is pure business terms...
    and it's adjustmnt in our terms!!

    but yeahh i love the Kid in u :))

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  16. a couple..wer the man was deaf nd dumb..and the woman in perfect health..
    When I told daddy...that ain't that injustice..he tells me..
    it's not ..cos he has to depend on sumone it better that it's his wife...
    BUT ...
    I wun call it a just way until and unless...a man who's perfectly all right can do the same for a woman who's physically challenged...


    I guess...doing sumthing for the person who you love so much ain't so difficult/bad provided...he too feels the same...

    it's give and take..is pure business terms...
    and it's adjustmnt in our terms!!

    but yeahh i love the Kid in u :))
    All that you need to make a place for u in some one's heart is to be yourself.....

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  17. "Dhanya, don't call him patti, thendi and all that! He's your husband.. your husband parameshwar! Hehe, I liked that :)Have fun

    Cheers
    Randeep

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  18. Loved it! Amazing and enthralling way of writing! After a long long and really long time i could read something that would justified my time and reason being a blogger! :)

    All the best with your Marriage Dhanya!

    One Advice:



    Just kidding... none from me :P

    Adios
    BIG OMi

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  19. Come on, take this all as a joke n laugh! :D I'm laughing reading it anyway! You call him patti, thendi eh? wow!! :D :D

    Cheers to you! :P

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  20. teeheeheee :D more wen we talk :D

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  21. :) Ha ha :)

    Yes this can be very tough! Since everybody is advising you anyways... let me get you a link to some more :)

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  22. aaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnddddddddddddd?????? tats it huh???? ;) :D

    khe khe khe...

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  23. O ma....... tat was a totally hilarious.. honest post ..:)
    I guess most of the gals go through this during marriage time... n relatives n frnds do this as its their duty to say...
    dont allow all these to get into ur head.. Just njoy the moment..!!

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  24. Ooooh, naughty, naughty...*wink* ;)

    Hehe. Sorry :D, don't mean to torture you here too. Loved Advice #3, and your mum's naughty look.

    Indeed, everybody in the world just hypes this phase to the max.
    And once you're married...? +poof+. No jokes, no winks, no giggles, no advice.

    Did I say no advice? Well, maybe a different kind of advice - and MORE explicit. Yeah, be ready to say "Ewww, yuck. That's none of your %$#%$ business!!"

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  25. LOL!!! Just the beginning... wait till after you're married and they expect you to have kids.... BTW u went through the madness of smiling like the cheshire cat during your engagement ceremony... You might as well start rehearsing again =)

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  26. hehehehehe.. kooll!!

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  27. R - "Every morning I expect you to touch my feet. I'm elder to you remember? Show me some respect!"


    Me - *Gives him a WTF look* If that's the case mister, get ready to fall down each morning!!!!

    sahi jawab diya.. ;)

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  28. probably the "and" should be replied with some cuddling n all. "that's all"
    hehe
    may be they wanted to hear tht u r happy with him.
    Does R knw abt ur Blog??

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  29. Hun, these are just pre-marriage jitters. And some of them are even jealous because you both are the perfect couple and they aren't, hence the advises!

    Freaking out is obvious during these few days but trust me, once you get into it, it's worth it ;) Afterall, it'll be you and ratheesh for the rest of your lives. Not the others :P

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  30. lol ..of course,husband is parameswhwar, u shud touch his feet everyday!! ;-O.. my husband tried to pull that stunt with me too .. the only time i ever fell at his feet was once in our marriage mandap where the oldies were breathing down my neck and i didnt want to create a drama. Sad,no ?

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  31. frgt all tht. tell me this. wt hapnd at the theatre?? :-O

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  32. rofl @ all comments :D

    roflmao @ post :D
    haha and i double tease u on gtalk...baap re u must be hating me :D

    oohhh how i love it :D (until my time comes that is)
    hilarious post..my jiju ko bada sa hug :) >:D<

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  33. Most of it I agree with but ummmm....patti, thendi and name-calling is dangerous. Mainly coz it can boomerang on u. Now imagine him calling u potti, prandhi....mind u this is mild stuff;-D.

    One thing I can see now itself...ur 'ahem' union is not going to be boring;-D

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  34. patti, thendi??...well, he couldn't have asked for more welcomin words...

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  35. Wasn't it better to have the engagement and marriage on the same day? :D

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  37. interesting
    with reality touch

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  38. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  39. hehehehe!!! :D
    Sad and weird advices...

    Lemme think of an advice for you ;-) :-D

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  40. hahahah you have my best wishes and love sweetie :)

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  41. Oh wow!
    A hilarious post up there. But well, why not post all the great advices that 'R' would also be subjected to? ;-)
    This is totally entertaining - at your cost needless to say.. HA HA LOLzzz

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  42. Calling your pati as patti - U can say wooopsss, slip of the tongue! All the oldies will take the cue & start using it on their better-halves;-D

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  43. Gaurav - He is right eh ? I think your wife follows the same procedure -- waking up and touching ur feet first thing in the morning ? :P

    Ramit bhai - Huge comment! :) Living-in before marriage... hmmm.... I am still very much old fashioned, bro! Never wanted to go for a live in... but I wouldn't stop or contradict anyone who would want to enter one. To each his/her own! :) Your sweetheart sounds so.. CUTE! :D She seems like a person who is in her own world most of the time. Is she ? :) :) If so, I sure can identify with her ;) :D Arrey, let R splurge on me BEFORE marriage at least no? Why people have to stop that also ? :( I don't think the Sun has fried your brain. You have STRONG viewpoints though! :D

    Sameera - Thank you so much for comforting me :*

    Madhu - I sympathize with your friend. I got the same comment from my own folks BEFORE marriage :| :| I said I felt pukish one day and they were like 'whatttt' and stared at R :O :O

    Marshmallow - :D Welcome to me blog :D Why would you like advice number 4 ? Ughhhhh !

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  44. Ria - It was meant to be a funny post :P So thank God you laughed rather than get all serious about it ! ;)

    Shruti - That was one hell of an advice! You sound so... experienced! :D

    Nikhs - Lol.. I am not maha pissed or anything about this! Just very amused :P *Glares at your last sentence* ;)

    Suree - Go ahead... :P

    Arv - Huh ? Even your own relatives didn't come to know about ur marriage ? :O I mean I got all these taunts from family itself :D Most of it anyway! ;)

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  45. Sagarika - Miss these jokes ? NEVER :D And guess I moderated my comments pretty late ;) :D

    DI - Bwahaha @ embarrassing retorts. I do that! :D :D Sometimes ;) Now that's more like it !!!!

    Ordinary gal - Yup, very unavoidable :|

    Nandita - Glad I made you giggle your girly giggle :P :D

    Priya - Wow! Don't you sound mature :O I love the kid in me too :) :)

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  46. Randeep - Excellent! Means you wouldn't mind it if your future 'woh' uses the same words on you :D

    Big Omi - That was really sweet! :) Thanks a lot for that. And *breathes a sigh of relief for not getting ur advice* ;) :D

    Meera - It was just a sarcy post sweetheart :D These incidents just leave me very amused....

    Richa - More when we talk what ? :O

    IHM - You forgot the link no ??? :D *Phew*

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  47. Anoop - You wanted more? *Sigh* :P

    Devil Inc - Yup, enjoying it alright! :P :P

    Shikha - Oh no :( I guess I know what you're talking about... :|

    Mel - Thanks for reminding me! I will start practising with R now... coz we're both in Dubai. Might as well do it together... *Dreads the kids talk btw* :| :|

    Pria - Thank you ji :D

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  48. Nids - Yeah, he does! Told him very recently :P

    Ana - Of course! I understand. Just being sarcastic in this post. :D

    Bedazzled - Damn! I hope they don't have any such custom for our marriage....

    Sawan - :P Njan parayoooollllaaaa :D

    Shanu - Haan! Poor me :(

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  49. Mads - Arrey never! How can Dhanno hates you :-w

    Reflections - Definitely not boring! And somehow it's very amusing to people around us too :P I don't mind the swear words... it's fun :D

    Communi - :D :D

    Quest - Now THAT would have been scary :O

    Vinz - Glad I made you lol :)

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  50. Surya Kannan - The hacker again ? :P

    SM - Thank u :)

    Esther - Not you too :(

    AD - Thanks a lot :*

    Himanshu - He doesn't give advices so much nowadays... :P *winks*

    lostworld - Highly effective if you're a tamilian ;) Not so much if you're a Mallu :(

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  51. hey Dhanya, you getting married? sorry i didnt know if you had announced earlier. i was away from Blogsville.

    CONGRATS!!!

    :)

    *hugs*

    do visit my new blog from my new blog id:

    http://the-perfect-line.blogspot.com/

    - Mehreen :)

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  52. i totally escaped these advices thing :D...


    urs..hemu..

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  53. Thanks Mehreen :) Visited ur new blog... left behind a comment :)

    Hemu - Luckkkyyy ;)

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  54. Shooo !!!! :X
    Why on earth do my comments make me look like one experienced (hag!!!)?? :D
    I am just generally very worldly-wise u know ..all dat gyaan doesnt necessarily have to come from experience (go, figure) :P

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  55. Literally ROTFL!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D Wowww...this is so exciting Dhanya!! I almost want to get married after reading that. LOL :D :P And patti, thendi kya hota hai?? LOL

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  56. Hehehe I love you posts!!! I'm laughing so badly!!!!! LOL!!!!!!

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