Monday, December 27, 2010

Why You Shouldn't Advertise your Blog on Social Networking Sites Before Getting Married

This applies ONLY if you are planning to get into an arranged marriage. Now before you go ahead and say that you have absolutely no plans whatsoever to get into one, let me tell you that neither did I! :D But destiny (*looks skywards*) is responsible for where I'm today! And I'm not complaining...

We all know how powerful social media marketing can be! You can increase the number of blog followers, traffic etc etc by just posting your blog link to your Twitter, Facebook or Orkut profile. Few years back, I felt the need to bring forth my blog to a larger audience and like many others ended up putting my blog link on social networking sites. Then came the time when I reached (*shy is coming*) a marriageable age and my parents no longer could wait to get rid of me.

Proposals started coming, and somehow whenever a new proposal came in I could see an increase in my blog traffic. All of a sudden I would get hyper thinking my blog has finally got the recognition it rightfully deserves and on further inspection (TY!) I would find out that all the traffic is coming from just a single source.... and from the exact same location where I got the proposal from. Somehow the grin gets swiped off my face and I wait for the meet up with the prospective groom to be only asked the question - "So you blog eh?"

Nothing wrong in that question, you might say! But what if he blabbers on and on about your life? No conversation happens. He already knows everything -- Mr. know-it-all. And he wants justifications to all your posts - "Why did you say that? What did you mean by that?" And you just go "Errrr!" with wide eyed innocent eyes not knowing that a simple "Marriage is for bored people" would bring so much of controversy in the future!

I need not tell you that once a proposal comes in, the guy/girl searches for your profile on social networking sites to find out the ugly truth about you. My cousin who smokes as if there's no tomorrow had mentioned he's a non-smoker on his marriage profile, but on his Orkut profile he had mentioned 'occasionally'. Even if you intend to lie, do it properly -- remember not to forget about the different lies you tell to different people! Note them down, if necessary. And it's best to tell the same lie to different people so that you need not remember to whom you told the dreaded lie to. Similarly if need be, make it a point to mention that you're a non-smoker in ALL of your social networking site profiles.

Coming back to the point, prospective brides and grooms search social networks to know more about you. If they see you hugging 3 or 4 people of the opposite sex, you are going to get a bad impression and probably you would end up getting rejected. I mean, most of us want to be the one and only. We don't want to land up in your next profile picture as 'one' among the many. Aaah.. you see the reason behind all the various rejections now doncha? :D Remove that picture.. NOW!

While scanning your profile, nothing could interest the prospective bride or groom more than a personal blog. More juicy details for them, more embarrassing consequences for you. They will read and read -- almost every post of yours -- and will form an impression about you even before they meet you. That's not very good, no?

What you Should Do Before Getting Married

  • Remove your blog link from all social networking sites

  • Remove 'blogging' from your interests. Some smart asses will even try to google for your blog if they find out that you are a passionate blogger.

What you Shouldn't Do Before Getting Married

  • Give your blog link away in the first meet up itself. It's better to talk to him directly about your life, no? Why limit your conversations? ;D

Ok, enough of the gyaan! You now know what's best for you. Remember, this applies only for people who have entered a marriageable age and are thinking of getting into an arranged marriage. Rest of you can rest in peace. Amen.

Saturday, December 04, 2010

I Should Learn to Shut Up Sometimes!


I'm Dhanya. Pleased to meet you! *gives you a firm handshake*

I'm generally a very nice person at heart (or I like to think as such; yes I can be pretty ambiguous!) but the only thing that I feel is not quite right about myself is my oh-so-charming innocence. Don't think of me as an egoistic bitch as yet. No, not yet! You see, I live in a world which seems to have double meanings for everything and anything. How am I supposed to survive in this big bad world of innuendos? Pray, tell me! Tell me no?

The other day I was talking to R's friend and she asked me rather casually whether I wake up early nowadays. I replied, 'Not really! You can call us up anytime at night though. We are full time awake!'. Now, she started giggling and R was raising his eyebrows and shaking his head at me. Seeing their weird reactions, I paused for a moment or two before I realised the dreaded 'innuendo' has hit me again! Don't you get it? It's okay if you use a sentence like that if you have been married for over 20 years, but it's a strict no-no to use such phrases when you are still fairly newlyweds. *Sigh*

This isn't happening to me for the first time mind you! Previously, I told another friend to change his display picture. It was a nice picture of him showing off his skills in bowling. But he had it for a tad too long. Nothing wrong in suggesting a change of pic right? WRONG! If you use phrases like 'You have been holding balls for too long. Time to put them down', what do you think this big bad world of double meanings will interpret the innocent phrase as? Huh huh? Yes, apparently that's what I told this friend of mine. Realization dawns later as usual. *Sigh*


I should learn to shut up sometimes! :(

Monday, November 15, 2010

One Weird Combo!

One of the things that amuses me no end is the new food combinations my husband comes up with. Come to think of it, there's nothing weird really! He just likes having non-veg with everything including idli! Idli and chicken curry anyone? :-)

He finds my having yoghurt and 'thoran' with chappatis kind of odd. So I guess I have strange eating habits too.

Temme about your weird food combos! Maybe I can try 'em out when I'm bored of food and eating (yeah, that does happen sometimes!) ;)

Monday, November 01, 2010

It's a Wonderful Married Life Afterall!

I can't say it was easy at the start, but the good thing is now I'm getting used to the whole new routine. From being entirely dependent on others for my needs, now there's a person at home who is dependent on me for some of his needs. It was overwhelming to say the least at the beginning but now the whole routine has started to sink in just like I hoped it would.

What's Cooking?

My cooking experiments have been a success so far.. or maybe he's just damn good at lying! ;) I find cooking a lil more tiresome as compared to washing or cleaning and like Sumi experienced there were times I just wanted to tear my hair out coz dishing out a decent meal seemed to take so much of my time!

My dad never had much of an appetite so I was quite taken aback when everything I cooked (and which I had thought would last for the entire day) got devoured by my darling husband within a matter of minutes. I have clearly misunderstood a young(?) man's hunger. Yeah, at times I wished he had my dad's appetite :P

Another thing I found out is that you hardly feel like eating the stuff you cook! This makes me seem like a person who has been deprived of food for days at parties and get-togethers where you will see me stocking up food to last for an entire week or so till the next grand party. I researched and researched (not so much!) and apparently other housewives are facing the same problem. Needless to say, much relieved after finding out ;)

Home Is Where The Heart Is

Since I'm the youngest it goes without saying that I'm the most pampered in the family. I have the sweetest mom who keeps serving me something or the other every one hour or so. I have a dad who gets me anything that my heart desires. It's hard not to miss all that when you are away from your parents -- as a newly wed especially. But then that's how life is! I guess 95% of the time we miss our parents when we're away from home and there's very little we can do about it other than let them know that we're doing happy and well in our new little world.

I look forward to talking to them even if it's only for a few minutes or so. Mom always ends her conversation with 'You both are happy no?' and dad is his usual silent (but happy) self usually questioning me about what I cooked for the day etc etc. I make it a point to mail them at 9 PM sharp at night with all details so they don't have to miss out on a thing even if I'm not able to call them for a day or so.

Living-in With The Husband

We are both in the 'knowing each other more' phase right now. We fight, we get on each other's nerves (which is but natural since we're with each other most of the time) and then we make up. Then there were some discoveries -

I found out he sleep talks most of the nights.
I found out that it's more difficult to make him take his cough syrup on time whenever he's sick as opposed to a child.
I found out that he has a big heart. It was cute seeing him check my temperature every now and then when I was sick couple of days back.

This new life is different but I guess I wouldn't have it any other way! :)

Saturday, October 09, 2010

Reunited... and Some Updates

So after a break of 2 months, R and I are back together again. No, this is not the 'we were on a break!' that Ross kept screaming about in FRIENDS. It's just the same ol' story of long distance relationships not being long distance anymore.

I'm in UAE now and I can hear loud Indian music blasting out from my neighbourhood. It's a mixture of North and South Indian music and boy does it feel good! Everything is in walking distance (as opposed to my place in Kerala where you had to travel for a good 20 minutes to get anything that you require). I love my new apartment which is spacious enough for the both of us. And even better? After nearly 1 and a half years of using a really lame net connection where I had to wait for 5 minutes for a picture to load properly, I'm finally getting to use super fast Internet where an entire video finishes loading within a minute or so. This to a person who literally lives online is pure bliss!

In the next phase of my life, you'll see me cooking. No one ever was dependent on my cooking skills before, but now apparently someone is. I still don't know much when it comes to dishing out stuff, but I hope to God that R doesn't end up getting food poisoned or something ;) R.. it's time for you to be my guinea pig :D

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Dhanyamol Internet Service Destroys Google!

...or rather hopes to! =P

So apparently I can see people who appear invisible on gmail. I am blessed with a very 'useful' sixth sense... or a horrible net connection to be honest. Because of this very reason (the second one!), my chat list refuses to load completely and I see people appearing on my list like this -

If you notice the gray dots, only some friends appear on my offline list. Dhanya was flabbergasted when she first noticed this. Why the bloody hell is this happening, she wondered! After loads of thinking (well not so much) she finally had her 'Eureka' moment (thankfully not in the bathtub!)! She went ahead and pinged some supposedly 'offline' people at the moment to test her new findings, and these stupid people replied back!

This new finding resulted in a very very interesting chat session later on -

me: i know a trick how to catch invi ppl... but i dont use it nowadays
works only at places where u have a really horrible connection i guess :D
*evil laugh*

Anu: lol!

me: when i have a really horrible connection, my chat list doesnt completely load...
then i can see those people using invisibility cloak..
i think only i know this trick!
stupid google :D

Anu: lol
give this in paper
u get fame
u will be remembered forever
will come in text books.."dhanya destroyed google!"
new era

me: i will launch new search engine + mail service

Anu: yes

me: dhanyamol internet services

Anu: Dhanyamol Internet Services- "We Will not Work"

me: A chat service where you can chat with only dhanya :) :)

Anu: yes
how to block this service?

... so that's how ladies and gentlemen, the idea of 'Dhanyamol Internet Services' came along!

P.S : Remember. You heard it here first! :D

P.P.S : Yes, I go hyper and crazy at times. Bear with me.

P.P.P.S : If Google sees this -- I am just kidding! Me no create no Gmail competition!!! Don't ban me from using gmail pleez :(

P.P.P.P.S : Any one of you able to see invisible people on gtalk like this?

P.P.P.P.P.S : Simply.

P.P.P.P.P.P.S : Ok, you may leave now :D

Thursday, September 16, 2010

The God I Believe In…

… I rarely go to temples.

… I have an inner voice which answers most of the questions for me.

… I am a Hindu but I love churches, and Christmas makes me happy somehow. Would you judge me if I said I love Christmas more than any Hindu festival?

… I talk to God more than I actually ‘pray’. Mostly it’s like a conversation inside; a heart to heart talk. I yak – He listens. He gives advice – I listen.

The God I believe in…

… Has always given me what I deserve and what’s right for me even if it’s not exactly what I actually wanted.

… Has calmed me down whenever I cried my heart out.

… Has offered solutions to ALL my problems till now. I am not even exaggerating this.

The God I believe in…

… Made me realize that sitting home jobless for a year was not a bad thing after all even if it nearly drove me mad. If it was not for this break, I would have never found the one work that I am so in love with nowadays.

… Made me realize why the other relationships didn’t work out. The best is always saved for the last!

… Dumped me into situations which I didn’t really like at first but only made me become a better person as time went by.

I am judged because I don’t pray like how usual people do.

I am judged if I don’t visit the temple on my birthdays. Hence, I am sometimes termed as an atheist… which is far from the truth.

I am judged if I question ‘Staying away from temples just coz you’re menstruating doesn't make any sense. If God created us that way, why is it considered unclean and dirty?’

I am judged when I say I love the atmosphere in a church.

I am judged when I say ‘God is one’.

Call me mad, call me crazy...

... But why should I do what other people do, when I feel blessed and happy with the God I believe in anyway?

Sunday, September 05, 2010

Silly Conversations and Birthdays To Remember

Her - “What am I getting for my birthday?”

Him - “My prayers, well wishes and lots of love of course! What else do you need?? I am your gift this birthday! :D”

Her - “Whaaatttttttt ?!?”

Him - “We will celebrate together when you’re here in Dubai!” (I and R are geographically apart at the moment)

And then my heart went ‘pfffttttt’ like a deflated balloon. It was my first birthday after marriage and I really wanted it to be etched in my mind forever. I then thought maybe R doesn’t necessarily believe in the type of romance that I do. Yours truly, like any other girl likes to be pampered with gifts (not expensive ones mind you! Even a single rose or a handmade picture collage would do!) and I was slightly disappointed that R wasn’t showing any interest in my birthday.

His birthday was on the same month as mine (August) but at an earlier date. I love surprising the people I love and decided to send a gift to him in spite of the distance. I searched online for Dubai gift stores and ended up with a particularly good one. No one I knew had ever delivered a gift via an online store before, and I was really skeptical. If the entire thing turned out to be a scam, then it would be an effort down the drain! I decided to go for it anyway coz if he could get a gift this way, then it would be totally worth it, otherwise I could tell myself ‘I tried anyway’. I decided to send him a cake, card with balloons attached. Nothing big, but that’s the amount of balance I had in my PayPal account. I planned to deliver it to his sister’s place coz that’s where he was going to be on his birthday. Everything was arranged and the cake was ordered.

I called the very same Dubai online store people to confirm the delivery on R’s birthday and was devastated when I found out that no one was picking up the phone. The word ‘scam’ kept playing out loud in my head and I swore that I would never purchase a thing online after this. About an hour or two later, I got a call informing me that the cake has been delivered! The relief and joy I went through at that moment can’t be explained in words! Later on I got a call from a very touched and a hyper sounding R who wasn’t expecting any sort of surprises on his day. I absolutely loved the feeling it gave me…

It was after all this that Mr. Hubby told me lovingly that ‘We can celebrate your birthday together when we are in Dubai’. Though a small expectation was there that he would send over something (oh come on! I am a girl! I expect things! :P), I consoled myself thinking everyone need not have the same thoughts on love and romance.

R called me around 12:03 A.M.

Him : “Who was on the phone at 12 sharp ?????”

Me : “Madhuri! She called me up first.”

Him (clearly annoyed that he wasn’t the first to wish me) : “Whatttttt ??? Who told her to call you up first? I should have been first! My net phone card wasn’t working when I tried calling u at 12! So I had to run down and recharge my phone to call you. Anyway… being first or second doesn't matter….”

Me (smiling inside at his cute attempt of consoling himself) : “Yeah, numbers don’t matter. For me, you are only first!”

Even if I didn’t get any gifts, the phone calls at 12 on August 31st made my day for me. I mean, when I receive such love and care, there seems to be no need for gifts and formalities as such. I went to sleep with a happy smile on my face, and I was woken up early morning by my parents who gave me this –

… Flowers and a sweet card -- sent by R of course! :)

Friday, August 27, 2010

From The Diary Of An Imperfect, Inexperienced and Newly Born Cook...

I was one of those girls who never bothered to venture into the kitchen not because she was never interested in cooking but mainly because my mom used to scare me with dialogues like ‘Don’t touch anything. The vessels are hot!’ or a ‘Get out of my kitchen. You’re slowing things down!’ or even worse ‘Eeee! Don’t use the knife like that! You will cut your fingers!!!!!’. Yes, here is a girl who was very VERY pampered.

I wouldn’t really blame my mom for freaking out whenever I enter the kitchen. After all, it was yours truly along with her lab partner who created a mini bomb in midst of mixing and matching chemicals during her school chemistry lab days. Cooking is sort of like a chem lab experiment, you got to agree; you either screw up things completely or you get it just right. The chemical solution that I made then was supposed to turn a bloody red color but instead turned into a light grey which then broke the test tube after bursting out with a mild fizz. I remember a student next to us remarking ‘You guys should never enter a kitchen’.

How long can a girl continue to be like that? I had to learn cooking for the better half, if not for me. I mean, I can literally survive on take out (read junk food) without ever getting tired of it but the husband (like any other guy living abroad) prefers home cooked naadan food. I had no choice really! Highly enthusiastic about finally getting a chance to experiment in this restricted (or even sometimes avoided ;)) area of the house called 'the kitchen', I searched for simple recipes to try out on the net.

Me – “Amma, this recipe requires tomatoes

Mom – “Tomatoes finished. I used them up yesterday.”

Me – “Ok, I will try this recipe then. Will use potatoes.”

Mom (giving me a smug look) – “No potatoes either. I made potato upperi today remember?”

I don’t know if she finished off all the veggies in the house on purpose so that I won’t enter the kitchen. But then I kept bugging her to teach me something, and she had no choice. She knew I couldn’t be kept away from a kitchen for long and shared all her naadan (kerala) recipes with me. I browse the net and try out some new recipes too nowadays. Some are a success whereas some others don’t turn out so good. I am still in the process of learning, and I guess cooking is something which you can never completely learn. There’s always something new to try out or some new info to be absorbed!

I have spent so much time eating up my mom’s delicacies that even if I end up some place other than home and start missing her food, I can always feel better by thinking that I have eaten maa ka khaana more than the average female who has learnt cooking early. You see, moms usually dump all their work on their daughters once they come to know everything -- like how it is in my case nowadays (ahem!).

'Dhanya's theory of Early Cooking' states that 'The Early Learner Makes Her Mother Lazy Faster by Taking Over The Kitchen In A Shorter Span of Time As Opposed To The Late Learner' (applicable if and only if you are a girl). To explain this theory in detail -

Cooking at an early age -> you helping mom more in kitchen as you get more experienced -> Slowly, mom starts avoiding kitchen complaining of body pain (mostly) or other such excuses -> You taking over the kitchen and hence eating more of YOUR food -> Altering mom's recipes -> Mom's priceless recipes getting lost/forgotten.

So if you're at home and your mom is all healthy and well, let her do the cooking I tell you! Pretend like as if you dunno anything or pretend you have a backache or a headache all the time (like my sister.. kidding! :D). Remember, you're doing this only to help your mom not to lose her magic touch. Plus, you get to taste more of amma's original recipes and not your kachda altered ones.

If you are in your teens or early 20s and worried about not knowing anything in cooking, let me assure you that it’s no big deal! You can always learn it later. Right now, just enjoy life – and yes, your mom’s cooking while you still can!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Online Friends - Are They Worth It ?

I first tried online chatting when I was in the 11th grade. I got access to an Internet connection fairly late as compared to others and I was browsing around when I stumbled across the website of my favorite magazine at that time (Young Times). They had a chat room and I wanted to see what the fuss of getting into a chatroom was all about. Young Times chat is now closed because of some issues with Khaleej times. I dunno the reason for its shutdown exactly but by far it is the most decent chat room that I have ever known. The guys were decent, the girls were funny.. it was a nice online hangout. It wasn't a place where everyone just talked to each other privately leaving the public 'room' a dull place. A group conversation always happened -- something which I loved being a part of. That was almost 10 years ago and I still chat regularly with 4 people I have met there.

I have confided in these people, they have seen (or rather heard) me talking about my ups and downs and have even stuck onto me like a leech inspite of all the major changes in behaviour or otherwise. Are online friends worth the friendship? A big YES! You tend to bond more with online friends on an emotional level. You can type some things out more openly than utter them in real life. Some might even swear that their Internet friends are better than their offline friends. Does everyone think the same way about friendship online? Not really...

A friend told me recently -

"In India, elders still think Internet as a very bad thing! If you are found chatting late night with just about anyone you are sure to be suspected of having some online affair."

This was the story of my life some time back before getting hitched! I have friends in Bahrain who I chat with but back then, it was assumed that I was having an affair with some U.S bloke. Why a guy from U.S you might ask? Coz according to them, no normal human being stays online so late at night -- it just had to be someone from the United States of America or some other place in a similar time zone! Blergh.

So if you ask the elderly people (the conservative kind) if online friends are worth it -- the answer would just be a big fat 'NO!'. My mom used to tell me - 'Why waste so much time chatting with these people... complete waste of time n money I tell you'. As far as I know many parents think the same way too. You can't really blame them for thinking that way. According to them, anything that cannot be seen or heard upfront is not to be trusted. Seeing is believing as in only a physical evidence of your existence can be termed convincing -- and in a way that's right too.

The Internet can be really deceiving at times. The weak appear strong and the smart ones appear docile and subdued. People might appear serious to you online while in actual reality they are just having a very good time on your behalf. Vice versa happens too -- you are the one who's joking but the receiving end takes it badly. You can't really pinpoint one's true personality on chat or through a blog for that matter. Emotional bonding happens fast, but silly misunderstandings happen faster. I have many of my offline friends asking me why I add fellow bloggers to my facebook and gtalk list when I haven't even met them. Bloggers dunno the real me, I dunno the real them. I am told that my online personality is a bit hard to take, and I wonder what the hell are these people talking about coz I have a pleasing personality in real life.

The very same friend told me - 'Once you meet these people offline, all the fun goes out of chats. You have a different version of them before you get in contact with them (how they talk and react to things for example) but afterwards you see that whatever you were thinking abt the person had been the exact opposite of what he/she actually is. If they react differently offline then accordingly later on you react differently in chats keeping that in mind. Those once interesting online relationships just become boring afterwards coz of these very minute changes in reactions.'

I contradicted this by saying that it doesn't have to be true with everyone! I have seen many people gel well after meeting and who continue to have a fun interaction online. But I am not really sure about those who fall in love with people online -- aren't they falling for a personality that's actually or entirely virtual?

What's your take on online friendship?

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

My Big Fat Indian Wedding

As expected, I wasn't sleepy at all the night before the big day. It wasn't really because of anxiety but more so to do with the big fuss around. The excitement was contagious and the worst part was that I wasn't allowed to be a part of all the late night chats and discussions coz apparently I needed my 'beauty sleep'. Damn it! At that time, I really wished it wasn't MY wedding!

I tied the knot at around 5 30 in the morning and I don't really remember much what happened on the temple podium then. I think getting married this early in the morning is a good thing coz you are not really in the mood to freak out or get those pre-wedding pangs. Why so? Coz you're just too damn sleepy! The only thing that you're most likely to think about is how sleep deprived you are. We were given a set of fast instructions which were carried out even faster. In most of my pictures taken at the temple you will see me looking at the priest with a smirk on my face -- an indication that I couldn't still believe that my wedding was taking place and this being only a part of a very funny reality show.

Next on, I had to change my saree and put on the numerous ornaments. Numerous ornaments you ask? Haven't you ever seen a South Indian wedding? Geez! Shame on you! =P Anyway, I had strictly told my mom to bring on just a few necklaces but the sly fox that she is, ended up bringing her entire set and then made everyone in my vicinity cajole me into wearing them.

"Dhannu, your wedding no? You SHOULD wear all these ornaments. You will never get this chance again!" (What if I NEVER wanted a chance to wear them in the first place?)

In midst of all this, someone said 'Soooo much gold on suchhhh a little body' and I almost had a 'Eureka' feeling. At least someone felt the way I did. That person was hushed out of the room and was never to be seen again....

As if all the gold wasn't enough, the wedding photographers came running behind me with 'Pics, madam!'. I don't mind a pic of mine being taken now and then, but if you end up taking 5-10 pics in a row, I am sure to thrash the camera on your head! I feel sorry for the photographers now that I think of them. No, I didn't do anything so barbaric. I just glared with an occasional 'enough is enough!'. R was very sweet and cooperative though. Then again, he wasn't wearing gold that weighed a ton along with a flower garland that seemed to weigh another ton! All that weight can affect any 'little girl's' mood. Being a South Indian pennu can be so damn tough at times....

Attending your own wedding is not much fun coz -

1. You cannot enjoy the food as much coz the photographers 'click' your every move. Irritating!

2. You cannot cry in peace. I saw my crying face for the first time in the wedding video while I was leaving to R's place... and now I know why people howl with laughter whenever I cry. Blergh.

3. You cannot join your family members and chit chat with them. Instead you meet strangers you have never met in your life asking you 'Do you know me?'.

4. 'More pics, madam?'

I am so relieved that I don't have to go through all this again! ;)

Some Moments -

Friday, August 06, 2010

Married and Loving It! I Mean That, Really!

Before marriage, people were scaring the shit out of me (pardon the language) by saying things like 'after marriage, all love goes out of the window'. Now with a proper 1 month experience, I would like to say it's all BS (again, please pardon the language). I know it's still very early to say such things but I know for sure that the affection and love for each other is surely growing. If you are a married guy and you think that R would have a different opinion about this, go ask him -- I was very much a bitch before marriage :D Not that I am any less notorious now, but yeah I am trying to be better....

I was more than surprised to see that my in-laws were a far cry from those shown in the movies. I expected a mother in law who would order me around to clean the entire house, cook breakfast/lunch/dinner, massage her legs, and crack dialogues like 'you are not taking care of my boy' from time to time. I expected a serious father in law who would hardly talk to me, sit reading the newspaper all day long and at times request for a cup of chai or coffee. Instead I get a ma in law who pampers me to the core and who sheds a few tears whenever I leave. I get a pa in law who gets me Dairy Milk every other day knowing it's my favorite chocolate, who strokes my hair whenever he passes by and who listens to everything I say with ardent interest. On top of that, my sister in law did everything she possibly could to make me feel at ease when I landed at the place. Blessed, really !

I cried the first time I left for my new home. A lot! This was a bad thing to do coz it just left everyone else sad including my otherwise very jovial bro in law. I was a bit teary eyed when I reached the place too but R comforted me immediately with a hug and a 'If you want, we can go back home tomorrow'. It's not something I would say yes to, but I felt much better after hearing that. The next couple of days were spent adjusting to the new place and I slowly started to gel in. The next time I left my place, I wasn't sad coz I was leaving but by thinking how lonely my parents would be. Like my dad keeps saying 'this is what life is all about...'. I somehow always get petrified thinking that I won't be able to spend much time with them from now on.

But then again, 'this is what life is all about'.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

The Last Post Before The Big Day !

... No, I am not going to commit suicide or anything. Sorry to disappoint you if you thought (and felt good about it) otherwise :D If you don't know what I am talking about, check out the new header you losers !!!!!

At this point, I am in a very weird state of mind where I can't believe that my marriage is up in a couple of weeks. Every morning I wake up and wonder if this is actually my life coz I always thought I would be single, unloved, with lots of pimples (irrelevant to post but I want everyone to know that I am having a clean and clear face at the moment in spite of having junk food continuously for the past one week or so), returning back from work to an empty apartment and watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S for the rest of the day. Now that people was a vision I used to have of my own future. Very pathetic and depressing I know. It didn't seem so bad then but I am glad I have been proved wrong.

I have been completely busy in enjoying every moment of the pre-wedding preps. Here are some fun moments -

The Funny Bro-in-Law

The day we went for my wedding saree shopping, my bro-in-law was looking around to buy a saree for his mom.

Sales Woman : "Saar, you looking for a saree with stones ??"
Bro-in-law (grinning) : "Naah, no stones.. mom already has stones.. in her kidney.."

"Eat Eat My Child... How Thin You Are"

Aunty no.1 - "Dhanya, eat more... so thin you are... you won't look good in saree"

Dhanya goes into next room...

Aunty no.2 - "You have gained weight.. good very good... you will look good in saree now"

Aunty no.3 (looking at me from head to toe) - "No no.. she has not gained weight.. she has grown tall"

Any chance of people gaining height after they hit their mid twenties? Please say it's possible...

The Subconscious Sixth Sense

Do you know that I am a very good listener? I will listen to you even if you talk to me while I am asleep. No, really! People who talk in hushed tones about anything secretive thinking I am asleep should run for cover now. Coz I have this sixth sense that wakes me up whenever the discussion turns towards me or anything that is important to me. Cool no? :D My mom knows this and she actually talks to me, when I am sleeping, in a voice she would use for anyone who is awake - "Dhanya I am going out, do you want something?". Dhanya without opening her eyes then tells mom to buy 'chicken burger with fries' or 'fried rice' or 'biriyani'. Funny how I always tell her to get me food. No, I am not a glutton :(

Things I overheard when I was sleeping -

One aunt to another - "She's not actually so thin, no? Look... her butt is big"

One aunt to another - "I didn't like that jewelry oppol (my mom) got for Dhanya.. so old-fashioned and outdated...". The funny thing is hours later when my mom asked these aunties how the new jewelry looked, their reaction was - 'Wow! Too good oppol.. too good!'. Only if they knew, I knew... *evil laugh*

"Do You Know Malayalam?"

Because of my wedding preps, I end up meeting a lot of new people. I answer their numerous questions in Malayalam and after half an hour or so, they turn to my parents and ask them - 'Does Dhanya know Malayalam?'. In what language was I talking till then? Chinese? Somehow if you have been born and brought up outside your home country it is assumed that you don't know how to read or write your language properly.

...Or does my Malayalam sound like Chinese to strangers? :O

Stop Confusing Me!

Mom (to me) : "Nice hairstyle! Do your hair like this for your marriage okay?"

Mom (to me the very next day) : "Such a cute hairstyle. Yesterday's hairstyle was not nice. Do like this for your wedding, okay?"

Lesson learnt : If you ask for suggestions from my mom, you are bound to get confused.

My Mom Is So Jokey!

I was getting my eyebrows plucked at a beauty parlor and my mom was scanning the other people who were in the room. One girl was getting her hair straightened (the straightener was set to about 230 degrees C) and she was busy admiring herself in the mirror when -

Mom (to the beautician) - "Oh my god! Look at all that steam! Her hair is getting burnt!"

The girl looks horrified and the beautician spends 2-3 minutes convincing her that everything is a-okay! My mom then grins at me like a sly lil fox.

Mom (again to the same beautician) - "No wonder you have become dark. All that steam from the straightener has made you black. You people should get yourselves a mask or something. But then hot steam is good in a way. Even if you become dark, your skin will become clear. Btw, have you burnt any girl's hair with that thing ? (pointing to straightener)"

Me (deciding to join in) - "You think they will tell us even if they did?"

Girl looks shocked again and beautician doesn't know what to say whereas the rest of the people giggle. I doubt if they will ever let us enter that place again...

That's all folks!

Will see you all after marriage. I am on a month long vacation and I am going to miss 'My Own Little World' for sure.

If you are going to miss this place a lil too much (I wish!) then go through my previous posts on marriage and anything of the likes. Left me amused when I went through them recently.

Archives On Thoughts, Views About Relationships and Marriage Till Now

Will You Marry Me?! - November 09, 2005 - An angry post from an angry young lady.
The 'M' Word - April 6, 2007 - How I felt about marriage way back then.
Confession Time - April 15, 2007 - This post is not completely about marriage but this is where I mention - 'I think marriage is for people who have lived their life and have nothing better to do.'. Lol.
A Whole New Beginning - September 01, 2007 - Where I get comfortable with the whole idea of marriage and insist on getting a 'rich guy' :P
It's A Funny World - November 09, 2007 - Where my co-workers give me advice on how to choose the 'right guy'.
Romanticisms - April 25, 2008 - Where I mention my love for a romantic beach-side White wedding.
The Funniest Email I Ever Got - August 23, 2008 - My first online date request. *Blush*
Transitions - November 09, 2008 - The post I wrote when I was getting fed up with all the pressure from parents, relatives and family friends.
You... - August 05, 2009 - A post which many people loved maybe coz they could identify with it? A post where I remember special times spent with a friend...
The Marriage Deal I Made With A 7 Year Old - August 09, 2009 - The deal I made with my niece... (This has come true btw ;))
5 Reasons Why I Love Facebook - November 29, 2009 - Check out the last pic (online proposal to MTV VJ Jose Covaco). Heights of desperation, really.. :D
I, Mom and The Elusive Nair Boy - November 19, 2009 - The post which mentions mom's desperate trials to hook me up with an eligible 'Nair guy'.
I Believe - November 09, 2009 - A moment when I got too lonely..

And finally...

How I Met The Nair Boy - January 23, 2010 - Where my story begins... :)

Adios till later next month!

Pray for R and D (that would be me :P)!

Saturday, June 05, 2010

You Bring Out The Best In Me

Ever had a feeling where you feel so grateful to a person that it almost chokes you but still can't express those words of gratitude openly or clearly as you want to? I go through those moments now and then when I feel so blessed to have someone like R enter my life.

I am a person who is not used to people telling me that they love me nor am I used to being the center of someone's universe. I feel very surprised now that someone actually can feel that way for me. R keeps all my pics on his iPhone and laptop and stares at them during work hours. His boss caught him once. My first reaction to this was 'huh?'. He THINKS all the guys are staring at me when we go out walking. He tells me I mean the world to him. To all this again I do a 'huh?'. I am not used to compliments and I still don't know how to react to them. He's a Leo and he's true to his sign - a energetic guy with a vibrant personality who finds it very easy to display his affection.

Yours truly on the other hand, has never gone to such extremes. I used to believe that as long as you feel it inside, you don't need to blurt it out. Maybe because I am used to being brought up in a family where you don't hug each other or say 'love you' every other day or so. 'It's all understood so why say it out loud?' is what I am used to.

I am learning how to open up because of him.

He's learning how to calm down because of me.

I correct him when he makes mistakes. I don't necessarily always take his side.

He corrects me when I make mistakes. He doesn't necessarily always take my side.

.. And we are both trying to make each other a better person than what we are at the moment.

The funny thing is months back, we would end up getting hyper pretty easily considering the difference in our personalities. Nowadays, we just seem to sense things out and try to calm each other down in a jiffy. We know what to say to each other and what not to say. We have reached that stage of silent communication where we know what the other is going to say even before saying it.

I am so glad we have reached this stage in our relationship, R. Like you said yesterday, we have changed... and it's for the better! :)

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Those Silly Butterflies...

R : "Did you start a countdown?"

Me : "Huh? For what?"

R : "For our wedding!"

Me : "Nopes, not really"

R : "Why?"

Me : "Too scared!"

R : "Yeah, same here!"

Me : "Why are you scared?"

R : "My freedom is soon coming to an end..."

Me : "Our"

R : "Huh?"

Me : "No more 'I' & 'me' now remember? So you have to say - OUR freedom is soon coming to an end! :P"

Different, aren't we ?

Usually, people start the countdown few months prior to their wedding. Though I am more than comfortable with my would-be, it feels kind of like leaving this world and going to a whole new planet altogether. A new set of people, a new life, a whole new beginning - how can one NOT get scared? I am sure like Sumi, on the day of my wedding, I would look completey dazed. :P

I remember these butterflies making their presence felt in my lil tummy before - usually when I was about to start something new!

Those Hostel Days

I have always been homely. Even at an age when kids were able to adjust without their mothers, I was desperately dependent on my mom.

Then came hostel and initially I was stuck with a very pathetic expression on my face which concerned the warden enough to ask me, 'Are you OK?'. But then on, I went on to love that very hostel. I liked the freedom, I liked looking after my own little space, I liked sneaking into my best friend's room even if we weren't allowed to step out of rooms after 11, I liked handling and taking care of my possessions -- it was a different experience from the usual protected life that I was used to and I quite liked it!

Those Work Days

I couldn't help smiling when I read this post of mine dated back to 2007 - Butterflies In My Stomach.

I was going to start my second job, and guess what? The lil butterflies troubled me so much back then, that I wished wholeheartedly that they would all die never to come back! Well, guess what again? They didn't die like I hoped they would...

.. Now, they are at it again!

I guess the butterflies are going to last for a longer time this time around, until I get used to the new life.


P.S : The wedding date is a little more than a month away from now...

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Selfish? Yes, I Am!

"You are selfish!"

I have lost count of people who have told me that. The funny thing is I almost always retort with a "Yeah! I am selfish! And you are not?". I seriously have no idea what people intend to do by saying that to me coz -

a. It doesn't hurt me.

b. It doesn't make me sad.

c. It doesn't make me happy either!

d. I already know I'm selfish! :D

... So this dialogue especially leaves me amused, if not anything else. Come to think of it, isn't everyone selfish? We all want to be happy -- isn't that selfish? We all want others to act according to our will - pamper us when we want, be pissed off with certain people when we want... and when that doesn't happen we are sad. Isn't that selfish? I don't know why being called selfish is considered as a bad quality, when everyone IS selfish!

I am sure that almost anyone was able to relate to Kareena Kapoor in Jab We Met when she said 'Main Apni Favorite Hoon!'. ;) And why not? Three cheers to selfishness, I say!

P.S : My net is down, and I am using my mobile as a modem nowadays. I can't visit blogs (including my own) as much as I want to coz of this. Some blogs are so difficult to load especially those with Disqus comments! :( Will visit soon! Till then, adios! :)

P.P.S - Post not meant to hurt anyone. Thought this one was long overdue considering that I have been getting this lovely dialogue a lot for the past few years now! :D

P.P.P.S - Dhanya admitting to being a selfish person, doesn't mean she's a dangerous psycho. She will NOT use weapons or hit you if you hurt her. Or will she? ;) :D

Monday, May 10, 2010

Branching Out...

Well, it seemed unfair that everyone had two blogs and I only had one!

So time has come to introduce a completely new blog which I have been working on for the past few days, and which hopefully some of you might find useful -- My E-Marketing Blog. I wanted a space to just rant on and on about what all I know about e-marketing and the stuff that I found useful. I wouldn't even dream of doing that here -- so why not create a new blog dedicated entirely for the purpose? And unlike some people 'assumed', I am not creating this blog to mislead people into buying stuff from my actual e-marketing website. In fact, you won't even get to see my sites or products there -- coz I don't want to advertise them! That would be entirely selfish on my part to actually mix up work with friends.

For a long time, I wanted to create a useful, informative space which might benefit someone one way or the other. The new blog will be serious but still personal in a way. Hope you enjoy it!

Click on the picture below to access the new blog...

Special thanks to Sumaiya, Naseeba and Ramit for encouraging me to put up this new blog.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Why You Should Never Delete Your Blog...

Flashback - Sometime back in 2005

I was back from college and I was bored. And you know how bored people are... they look for ways to entertain themselves! For me, entertainment then was the Internet (still is, sometimes), so I get online, log onto Google and go searching random stuff until some stupid scientific theory I happened to read on some page brings back old memories (read 'old crushes'... ahem). Now you might ask why on earth would scientific jargon remind me of an old crush? Wait.. wait.. I will tell you! Not to panic! Coz he was a geek nerd... a very intellectually tuned person who used to read (I cannot say study... coz he used to read them like a novel) Physics books during break hours. Yours truly used to be attracted to such people. You just have to practically answer every question that the teacher asks and you would have then got my undivided attention. Yes, I was a lil weird that way. No need to point your fingers and laugh at me...

Anyhoo, I got reminded of my crush from school days and I thought of googling him out. That moron must have been completely immersed in his books coz there was nothing there! No social networking site result, no nothing! Oh wait, I did see his name mentioned somewhere in some PDF report which he created on String Theory and I came to know he was studying in some hi-fi college in the U.S. There was one other Google result - where he was being mentioned in his sister's blog.

Seeing the snippet on Google search results, I just opened up her blog and the first thing I notice was a photo of herself with a guy. She was cute, sported short hair and had a huge grin on her face. She stood resting her head on the guys shoulder and looked supremely happy! I went on to read a couple of her posts... and by the end of it, I was just left smiling. She was happy, she was funny, she was completely in love... and she wanted to share her little moments of joy with everyone! I found that really adorable. That was the first time I read someone's blog.... and till date remains one of the most favorite blogs I have ever read. It's funny how things that you bump into accidently have a way of inspiring you completely.

She inspired me to be open about my own thoughts. That there's nothing wrong in writing things that YOU feel strongly about and that others might not agree with. That it's okay to write gibberish once in a while coz it's your own personal space. That it's entirely essential to have fun while you're writing. Now, that was the year I decided to create my own blog - 2005!


I don't know what made her delete off her blog. Maybe she got bored of it, or maybe she wanted to protect her privacy coz there were too many of her pics in there. But that's what made that blog so special - coz she made it personal.

I see that trend continuing nowadays. You build a blog, you get followers, you write awfully nice posts... and you end up deleting it. I, for one, love reading posts that I enjoy, again and again no matter whose blog it is -- any post that brings a smile to my face!

My Reasons On Why You Should Never Delete Your Blog

1. Your posts - no mater, if they're good or bad - hold some kind of memory. Why would you want to delete off those memories forever? They might be unbearable to read today, but tomorrow you're sure to smile and maybe feel a lil silly when you read them.

2. You will be amazed to see how much you have changed when you read the posts later on. It's like you can see for yourself the change that has happened... be it in your thoughts, your beliefs and everything else. I used to be a worry wart, highly moody and anxious...and that can be seen from my earlier posts. I can safely say that I am much more 'cooler' now ;)

3. If you have to, delete few posts that you don't want others to read at any cost... but don't delete the entire blog!

4. Later on, you can just show the posts to whomsoever it matters and you can make things easier for yourself ;) Make people even understand you better! Your future hubby/wife would definitely be interested to know about your past for sure. Oh, did I tell you guys that R reads this blog nowadays? And err... a big welcome to R's friends and family to my blog as well.... *Sigh*

5. From point 4, it's evident that it makes it easier for friends and family to get to know you better too! ;)

6. Be considerate towards your readers. They can't keep running after you, and God forbid they might just get tired one day (how much can we run, really?) and decide to leave you at that.

I have no idea what all this blog must have recorded from 10 years hence. But one thing's for sure... I would grin out wide whenever I come across those posts tagged R ! ;)

P.S : Happy 200th post to me! :)

P.P.S : Thanks to everyone who keep commenting, reading, mailing and scrapping me about my posts. You guys make me feel SPECIAL! :) :) :)

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Some Missing Pages In My Diary...

There are a couple of things I need to record in this blog. Some things that went unmentioned maybe coz I never got the time or maybe coz some other topic would end up getting a higher priority. If I don't do it now, I guess I will never. So here goes...

1. The Jose Covaco Video - A very big thanks to Sandeep Balan for gifting me this video of MTV India VJ Jose Covaco. It was highly unexpected and it made my day, month and almost the whole year! Oh yes, I am a die-hard Jose Covaco fan (No, I'm not kidding) and I was touched a person would actually remember this minute detail to go ahead and make a video for me. Thanks Sandy -- SO VERY MUCH!

2. A Walk To Remember - The first time I and R went for a long walk in Dubai (or any place else, for that matter). I remember telling him all my secrets during that one walk and I felt relieved to know that a person was genuinely interested in what I had to say. Moreoever, he didn't judge me. We talked and talked and we sat down by the road side next to this coffee shop. I think, we sat there for almost 40-45 minutes but never noticed the time passing by. The cute part was that later on the coffee shop attendant offered us two free cups of coffee.

Me : You think he has put something in this coffee?

R : What?

Me : Maybe he's trying to drug us. After that, he might steal our money!

R : Huh?

Me : Do you think we should drink this? I mean, why would anyone give anything away for free??

R (looking at the drink tentatively) : Ok, I will drink it first!

All this while, my mom's sound was resonating inside my ears -- 'Don't take anything from strangers, moley!'. Funny how childhood advices have a way of making their comeback in the weirdest of situations. The coffee was harmless enough, but the moral of the story is that even if a person is being genuinely nice, you end up doubting him/her... and especially if the person is a stranger! ;)

3. Web Marketing Becomes A Passion - Now e-marketing is something which I had started off as a hobby but now I can spend hours and hours on it learning new stuff (thanks to YouTube videos) and researching. 24 hours don't seem enough for me. And I'm glad that somehow all the hard work is paying off. A part of my e-marketing site (which I won't reveal since I need my privacy there) is going to be published into a Social Marketing book. It's nothing big, but feels great to know that something of mine is getting published!

What feels even more great? That I am sitting right at home and earning almost as much as what people are earning working in nearby offices. I'm saying this with pride coz people used to find it hard to believe that you can earn while you're sitting at home... so sorry if I sound like I'm bragging by the end of it all. ;) I'm just very happy. Touch wood.

Dare to be different and if you've enough passion for it, you can set anything right and going your way!

Thursday, April 01, 2010

Food and Money

I am heading back to India after two whole months. I shopped like crazy, tried on 100s of clothes out of which I decided to buy only 4 (talk about being extremely picky?), got gifts for fiance and sister dearest, and now I am broke! Well, almost...

I have some more shopping to do tomorrow. Let's see what I can get for 100 rupees! Show me what you've got Dubai! PLEASE!

On another note, It's time for Dhanno to get serious once she reaches India and start that dreadful wonderful activity called cooking! I would like to call myself the cooking monster here -- I know next to nothing! Whenever mummy ji starts teaching me classic Southie dishes, I wander into my own world. In there, I am mixing and matching clothes - "That Black top I got day before yesterday will go with the Capris I got the previous week" and so on and so forth. Only if I was that competent when it came to mixing and matching masalas and vegetables.

I don't want to trouble mummy ji all the time (I mean, more than usual :P) so if you guys are ready to share some of your sureshot secret yummylicious (but SIMPLE) recipes then do it NOW! :D If you're too shy to post em in the comments section - mail me! ;)

Friday, March 19, 2010

How The Kids Are Taking It...

From my last post, you must have figured out how usually adults react after finding you're committed. Well, that's how the adults in my vicinity react anyway! So how well are the kids in my family taking it ?

Kid #1 - My Niece
Age - 8 Years

My niece always wanted me to hook up with someone whom SHE herself would like. I had already mentioned it months back here. It's heart warming to see that she gets along SO well with R. But yeah, she still finds it a lil difficult to digest the fact that now her mad aunt has a fiance.

I kind of made a rule that we (R and I) should hug each other before bidding adieu for the day, no matter who is present. And one fine day, my niece happened to be present alongwith me. We both gave her a wary look and decided to give the goodbye hug anyway. Mind you, it was JUST a hug! Her reaction?

'Yuuuuuuuucccccccckkkkkkk! Gross!'

I know I'm a lil psycho when it comes to these things, but I insist on a 'huggy' (that's how I say it) even if ADULTS are present. No one in my family is used to seeing hugs, and it was highly amusing to watch their reactions.

Mom (Looking upwards as if asking God to forgive us for our sins) - "Oh! You guys have reached this stage!"
Niece - "There they go again ! Ewwwwwww !!!!!"

Next morning? My niece comes up to me, pouts and says 'no huggyyy?' with a giggle. Great! Now my niece has started taunting me too....

Kids #2 and #3 - R's Nieces
Age - 2 and 7 years

I met R's two nieces few days back. They kept looking at me with keen eyes but weren't sure how to interact with me. After a lil bit of cajoling and cuddling, the ice was broken.

R (to the kids) - 'Now give your aunt a kiss!'

*Kids look at me all wide eyed and unsure*

R - 'Yeah! Go on! Like this... See!'

.... And he plants a peck on my cheek.

*Dhanya in total shock looks at R*

*R grins*

*Dhanya then looks anxiously towards the kids*

*2 year old niece has got one finger in her mouth as if trying to figure out what just happened*

*7 year old niece is blushing almost as much as Dhanya*

*Everyone ends up looking all confused and not facing each other... except R who was still enjoying the moment*

It's just so very amusing to watch the reactions of kids when it comes to welcoming new members into the family. It's not always hunky dory. Jealousy creeps in sometimes when they find out a total stranger is spending more time with their loved one. But the greatest feeling? When we come to know that we can all gel together as one big happy family with loads and loads of such good, funny and priceless moments to share. And boy oh boy, do I LOVE the surety of it all!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Spare Me The Pre-Nuptial Advices... and Jokes!

Yes, I am going to get married in few months... but what's with all the advising?

*Yawn* Advice #1 - "Marriage is all about adjustment. Girls should always adjust more, tolerate more, think more, understand more, clean more, sweep more, cook more..." (I hate being a girl sometimes. I truly do!)

*Yawn* Advice #2 - "Don't make your husband spend too much money on you. There should always be a limit!" (WTF? If he's ready to splurge on me, I should let it be no?)

*Yawn* Advice #3 - "Dhanya, don't call him patti, thendi and all that! He's your husband.. your husband parameshwar! The apple of your eye! How can you use such swear words on him???" (*Yawn* My would be... my wish...)

*Yawn* Advice #4 - (From Mr. Pati Parameshwar himself)

R - "Every morning I expect you to touch my feet. I'm elder to you remember? Show me some respect!"

Me - *Gives him a WTF look* If that's the case mister, get ready to fall down each morning!!!!

As if the advices aren't enough, I have to suffer some double meaning jokes from relatives and friends alike...

Mom (giving me a naughty look) - "It seems R wants to get married to you asap. Heee heee heeeeee !!!! What does that mean eh???" (bursts into giggles)
Me - !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me - So I went out with R....
Friend - Oooooohhhhh !!! And... ? *Wink*
Me - And I went for a movie with him....
Friend - WOW! Annnnnddd.... ? *Wink Wink*
Me - Then movie finished and we got back home...
Friend - What happened in theatre ehhhhh ??? *giggles the girly giggle*
Me - !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know getting married is a huge thing... but really, why make it so embarrassing and difficult? :(

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

A Blessed Month

There are phases in your life which make you wonder if you would ever be able to get past through unharmed...

I remember sending frantic messages to my sister last year telling her desperately why I thought I wasn't marriage material. I couldn't find peace anywhere from anyone and I thought the best place to find the comfort I was looking for could only come from me! I stayed aloof for a pretty long time because I didn't want to hurt anyone and most importantly I didn't want to end up hurting myself. Funny how things turned around this year...

Now, at least I am not as hopeless as I used to be. Marriage doesn't scare me anymore. I am not even scared how it would turn out after marriage (due to happen later this year) coz I believe I have met the most patient and understanding man ever possible. I have now realised that soul-mates are people who bring out the best in you. They are not perfect but are always perfect for you.

I have no idea if my platinum day of love had come and gone without me knowing about it but I can't stop gushing....

... when he calls up after having a fight and throws dialogues like these :

R : Busy ?

Me : Uh huh.. what happened now ?

R : Wanted to hear your stupid voice...

Me (Irritated) : Huh ?

R : Kidding! Just called to say that I accept you with all your mood swings, tantrums and frustrations. Love you...

... when he mingles with my family as if they are his own.

... when he buys popcorn, eats more than half of it himself and then turns to me apologetically saying 'Oops! I was hungry'.

... when he throws tantrums and goes kiddish with a 'I won't talk to you again! Nobody cares for me!' but calls me back after an hour or two with a 'So wassup?'

... when he gushes and goes all wide eyed, happy and cheerful when he sees me making me feel as if I am the most beautiful person in this world.

I feel if R and I had met somewhere outside this whole arranged prospective bride/groom meeting, we would have still fallen in love and got married eventually. I don't think anybody else could have handled the volatile me in a better way nor would he have been able to feel so vehemently about anyone else.

Who said Pyaar is Impossible in an arranged marriage?

It has been a blessed month so far -

Feb 7th - My engagement day

Feb 14th - Got my first engagement gift from R - a White Gold ring. I decided to break the ice then and gave him a tight hug. He was quite surprised by this (who said men had to take the first step?) but it did leave him with a huge grin!

Feb 16th - My Nephew was born - Yadharth! Babies are such sweethearts. You can't help falling for them the moment they are born -- those cute expressions, smiles, the gurgles and Yadharth to top it all mistakes my nose for his feeding bottle!

I am in Dubai now enjoying with my sister, family and R! The later part of this month would see me flying off to the place I was born and brought up - Bahrain - for a quick visit. Won't be around for few weeks. Till then, have a more blessed month than me! :)

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Opposites Attract?

- He is a non-stop chatterbox. I need my moments of silence.

- He can have non-veg for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I prefer to have it only now and then.

- He hates reading. I love it!

- He goes out of his way to please me. I am more laidback.

- He seems jovial always. I have my mood swings.

I am not the easiest of person to get along with. There were times when I wondered if I should even consider marriage considering the type of person I am -- moody, easily irritated and frustrated, quite spoilt even! But as luck would have it, I have found someone who can deal with my tantrums, my mood swings... in short, a person who can deal with me being ME!

People tell me that the best time is before marriage (during the courtship period) and that after marriage, it's not the same. I think it will be the opposite for R & I. Touch wood.

P.S : I got engaged on the 7th of this month :)

I have time to upload just one pic on blogger. That's me on my engagement day, posing as never before ;)

Special love to Madhuri, Richa and Annie for making me feel so special on my special day !! :)

Saturday, January 30, 2010

They Teach It In Labour Rooms...

I don't know what happens to a mother prior to her daughter's engagement. All I can say is, my mom has been acting really hyper lately -- she laughs loudly for the weirdest of reasons which ends up with me giving a 'WTH is wrong with you?' look to her.

Another thing my mom is especially fond of nowadays is keeping a tag on how many times R calls me in a day. I used to give her details at first, but then eventually got annoyed with all the record keeping.

Mom : So did R call ?

Me : *Smiles*

Mom : Did R come online ?

Me : *Smiles*

Mom : How many times he called you today ?

Me : *Winks at her*

Mom : Why you not answering my questions ?

Me : *Smiles again*

Mom : AHANGAARI (Arrogant female in Malayalam) ! You don't tell me anything !!!!

Me : *All aware of what's coming up next...*

Mom : You bring kids up with such love and care only to see days like these !!!!

Me : *Really interested in where the conversation is heading...*

Mom : Oh God! What have I done to deserve kids like these ?????

Me : *Eyes wide open now*

Mom : I will join some Ashram one day !!! There at least I will be at peace !!! No use showing love to kids like you !!

Me : Amma, you told last time also you will join Ashram!


After few minutes...

Mom : So.... did R call ?

In between this conversation, I couldn't help but think how influenced moms can be with T.V soaps. Some of the dialogues thrown by them make you go all Deja Vu and you end up thinking where you have heard them before. That's the case with me, anyway! So instead of empathizing with her, I am left thinking 'Where have I heard this one before?'

I discussed this with my dear friend Anu....

Me : Mom was really pissed with me today. She didn't like the way I ignored questions related to R!

Anu : Oh !!!! What all she said ??

Me : (Tells her the same dialogues given above)

Anu : heyyy... my mom also !!!! Dhanya, I think they teach these dialogues in labour rooms...

Hear hear! ;)

Saturday, January 23, 2010

How I Met The Nair Boy

This post is dedicated to all those who were dying to know my story. I didn't realize people were actually interested until I got ragged heavily on Facebook asking me to share it with everyone. So here it is... not exactly a dream story, but something which can turn out to be one in the near future - hopefully!

I always wanted a love marriage. I mean, which girl doesn't? We all are die hard romantics at heart and we all want a DDLJ type of love story to happen in our lives. Though now the trends are changing and girls wouldn't mind a 'Love Aaj Kal' either. ;) The thing is, some people get lucky in feeling that intense passion before marriage whereas for the rest of us, it happens after marriage.

I was hell bent in entering into a love marriage no matter what and I almost got the 'love' part of it but not marriage. Commitment phobia is a big thing nowadays huh ? But of course, I never kept any hard feelings for anything and instead of wasting time complaining, I just decided to move ahead and take the next step that would make everyone happy... yes, including yours truly! I hated the loneliness and I wanted to get out somehow. I basically didn't trust my choice in guys, so I let my parents do it for me. This might make you snort and point fingers at me saying 'This is the modern age, girl! Who goes for arranged marriages nowadays?'. But if you're as highly confused and immature like me who makes the most ridiculous choices in life, I would advice you to let your parents do the potential partner searching too!

The choice was left for me of course - to reject or accept a guy! I kind of misused this option a helluva lot and rejected a good bunch of guys. Everyone was worried to the core - 'Why isn't she liking any guy?', 'Maybe she has a boyfriend!', 'Next time you see any guy, just ACCEPT him... it will work out in the future'. Needless to say, the last advice used to hurt me the most. I used to wonder if these people actually cared for me or not.

Then the day arrived when I actually liked a guy's photos plus details and decided to meet him. On the day he was to meet, I told mom that I wasn't going to wait inside for her and dad to call me and instead I would stand right there by the door to greet him and his friend. I hate this waiting part and I had decided not to do it anymore. Thankfully, my mom didn't object.

The guy entered with his friend and he didn't expect me to be standing right before him so early into the meeting. He was surprised and all he did was give a shy smile and we all were seated in the drawing room. We avoided looking at each other throughout the conversation that happened with my parents. I chatted and smiled more at his friend, and R confessed to me later on that by the way things were going on between me and his friend he had a doubt that I would pick his best friend over him! Anyway, that didn't happen....

We then got our alone time. The conversation just flowed, like never before. What was supposed to be a 10 minute talk stretched to 3 hours. Calls were coming from relatives all over. 'What happened?', 'Did she say no?', 'What are they discussing so much?'. Tension was in the air. R was supposed to leave by 2:30, 3:00 P.M. His train was scheduled at 3:30 P.M. Needless to say, he decided to miss the train and continue talking to me.

I don't know what made me say 'yes' to him. I think it's because of his easy going nature, his childish laugh or maybe coz I was able to be myself with him in no time. Anyway, it just clicked. We both said 'yes' and the whole family was relieved. To tell you the truth - so was I!

If you think I am in love, I am not really! Love doesn't happen in a couple of days or meetings. It grows over time -- and right now, I am just waiting for MY platinum day of love. This post would be incomplete without the video -

"You know, they arranged everything -the meeting, the date, the place.. and we.. we did the only thing we could -- we laughed!"

.... And that's how I met the Nair boy!

P.S : Before you go making those 'sada suhagan raho' comments, let me inform you that I am not yet married! ;) I am going to get engaged this feb though... :)

Sunday, January 17, 2010

A New Beginning!

... And, so this little prankster's life is going to change big time.

Let us together pray for his peace as well as for him to attain courage, tolerance and patience to withstand me in the future! ;)

Losing your singledom feels funny but I have been waiting to be in a secure relationship for such a long time that even this funny feeling feels right!

Touch wood.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Red Hot Chili Peppers

January is always eventful for me some way or the other. This month had its ups and downs -- was really happy coz of family in the beginning but let down by friends later on. As usual, I am blessed with four angels to bring me up whenever I am downright low - Sum, San, Mads, and a long lost friend who came back just on time, Anu Susan.

I have lost almost 4 friends this month coz of my volatile temper. A temper which I usually keep hidden coz if unleashed it can be as bad as it can get. A temper which I know can make me lose friends as fast as I befriend them.

In a fight, each party will have a different story to tell and prove that they are more right. More often than not, both sides are to be equally blamed and hence I won't revert to a post that says why I am right and the others are wrong. The funny part is that all the people I had fought with are people who I know only through the Internet. Does this mean that we are less tolerable towards people we hardly know? It's easy to get close to such people, but then it doesn't take much to get pissed off at them either.

I got a shower of advices the following day -

'Someone throws you a smile and you befriend them. Why do you befriend people so quickly? You've always been like this and you land up with people who you can't really handle and they end up hurting you.'

'Making friends is fun but all won't care for you as much... so do keep the distance.'

'Don't make friendship with strangers. People you meet virtually don't know how you are and can misunderstand you faster.'

'Why do you trust people so quickly and expect them to understand everything and anything you tell them?'

'Some 'friends' are like that - they stay with you only during your good days.'

Definitely some points for me to ponder on...

On a brighter note, being with family (relatives included) is getting more and more enjoyable. I developed a bond with my cousin brothers which was missing earlier. Now I don't think twice before entering their rooms and waking them up from their beauty sleep. No longer the uncomfy silences when we sit together for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I was closer to the girls in the family, but now it's the same with the boys too. This means that I am no longer considered as the outsider -- the NRI -- of the family. That tag has been thrown into the dust bin and I am just their cute little cousin sister now - which feels great!

Other than that, I met up with relatives from Australia after a long time. The best part was convincing this 12 year old that I was actually 25!

'But you look 18!', she said.

Now what more does a girl need to make her day? ;)

To end this with an even more good note, I might have some news for you guys soon. So stay tuned!