Monday, March 23, 2009

U, Me and Narrow Mindedness!

Are we, as Indians, ready to accept change?....

.....Or are we narrow minded?

In this century, I feel shocked when people speak things which makes them no different than cave men…

Person ‘a’ : Girls shouldn’t be too independent. It doesn’t make them look so good in society.

Person ‘b’ : Parents shouldn’t allow their kids to choose what they want. Later on, these kids will have their own independent views on things and hence won’t obey their parents.

Person ‘c’ : We, Indians, ape the Westerners so much. Just look at the clothes of the youngsters nowadays… and oh my god even girls drink!

Person ‘d’ : This gender equality is all crap. Girls belong in the kitchen. The only thing they should be concerned about is keeping their husband happy.

Person ‘e’ : I saw this guy’s pics in Orkut with his girl friend. She belongs to a different religion. So sad no ? His parents must be so worried about him. And she’s wearing such revealing clothes! (exaggerated highly coz I happened to see the girl’s pics and she didn’t look slutty at all.. quite decent, really).

Person ‘f’ : If my future wife doesn’t listen to me, I would probably hit her.

Person ‘g’ : Girls who are too fashionable won’t make a good home maker. I want my son to marry someone who is very very simple looking.

My point is… haven’t we yet moved on from that stage ?

Some of these comments were made by the new generation! We are in the 21st century (for God’s sake) but some of us still talk like we are living in the stone ages. It saddens me that some stick to these old thoughts (I mean the bad and narrow minded thoughts like the above, not the goodies) and even try to enforce them on the future generation!

So what if a person’s wife or husband is from a different caste, place etc ? They are humans too with real human emotions and the most rated (over-rated or under) emotion is, of course, love. If they happen to fall in love with a person from another caste, religion… is it such a bad thing? I think the person is quite lucky to have found love instead of opting for second rate stuff.

Secondly, what if a girl wants to drink once in a while and let her hair loose ? It’s ok for the guys to do it, but not for girls ? I still remember the numerous stares I got at a party here when I had a small glass of wine. I can’t understand what the fuss is all about. It’s not like I get all drunk, throw up all over the place and make a scene. But I am sure they are thinking ‘If she drinks, she must be doing it a lot! Which means she pukes a lot’.

And what’s this I hear about girls shouldn’t be too independent? Each and every person should learn to be independent. Can we truly trust someone to be with us through out our life?

People, who criticize other people’s lives, are those who don’t live and let others live either! Hats off to all of you who lives life on their own terms, not following any rules.

In other words, I admire your guts ;)


  1. i totaly agree with you.. society and the people infesting it bugs the crap out of me totally...they are hipocrites and two faced and there was this one thing i read somewhere //people who MATTER dont care, people who care dont matter.//thats what i try and think when i think about society and their reaction to me doing a thing..

    moreover i totaly agree with you on this one>>Secondly, what if a girl wants to drink once in a while and let her hair loose ? It’s ok for the guys to do it, but not for girls ? I still remember the numerous stares I got at a party here when I had a small glass of wine. I can’t understand what the fuss is all about. It’s not like I get all drunk, throw up all over the place and make a scene. But I am sure they are thinking ‘If she drinks, she must be doing it a lot! Which means she pukes a lot’.<<

    thankfully i have a progressive bf who dones mind and in turn asks me to take a drink if i wish..most of the time i dont..i dont like drinking but sometimes..once in a bluemoon i took would like some wine.. and being particular about who and where we drink, who better could i have with than my guy...i hate those bf's who will drink themselves but will never let their gf's drink its atrocious

  2. btw u r tagged... come check out...

  3. Genuinely written...
    One thing i hv heard from one of the Literate person...
    Wen Gilrs goes for higher studies like Engineering etc..they cannot be good wife..
    they can only know how to break house ranther than make..
    they hv so many Friends..male friends around her..tht she start comparing her hsuband with her friends...

    nw .. i ws like....awwwhhh

    Shit Man he is so sick... i mean poor or rotten mindset...

    very well pen down...

  4. Such rules r who impose such rules on women r generally insecured of a woman's capabilities & hence stop them for being independent! And as far as caste & religion for marriage is concerned...the only thing required for a successful marriage is compatibility & understanding between partners, beyond these no caste & no religion play any role in keeping a relation entact!

  5. Just give the names and addresses for these person 'a' 'b' and others girl-- Its been a year since I punched someone.

  6. u kno once someone asked me d kinda girl i want...n i said she shud b workin...b atleast as educated as i am...n shud be comfortable drinkin...n u wudnt believe d kinda looks i get from that person now...

    but m thankful my parents r really cool abt all this...

    we live in a hypocrite society...

  7. There aint no perfect society for one to compare with... they all have their own mess to deal with...

    as for the gender bias, its a crap thing... a society is built on families and a family is made up of 2 people. What goes for one goes for the other... whats the deal with restrictions and social limits... as the long as the family runs smooth...

    but u know wat... it would never change... its not pessimism but rather the cold truth...

    take care mate... cheers...

  8. it looks like a steam let off.. but neway..being an Indian and being a Girl, i ve heard a lot of those statements myself.. do we want to change..i dunno...but we do NEED to change..

    we need to get out of the living for the society mentality..

    as I always say.. i hate being a girl born here.. :)

    but very nicely put..nicely written..

  9. Superrr!!

    the world needs a lesson on the progressive approach of living..I cannot help but agree with all that u have said here..So what being a gal doesn't deem u to live life,the way you want it to??I mean there sure are bound to be limits and those are well framed if u ask me,in every gal..and oly when things tend to go beyond all this does there rly need to be such stupid talk..Even then,the women have come off age and its high time ppl start weighing them as equals..

    Jai Ho!!


  10. Anonymous6:44 PM

    Be it Girls or guys,I wil stare if I see anyone drinking lol!!!and when I stare I wil be thinking what does it tastes like man??? lol

  11. Pallav - Yeah, you meet such losers almost everywhere!

    Kanupriya - Exactly my dear! The only thing one should look for is compatability else you will just end up in a boring relationship which grows more boring as time goes on...

  12. LOL Sameera. Well, next time they say something of that sort will surely contact u ;)

    Mayz- Good to know u get all the support you need at home :) Lucky dude...

    Niti- Yeah, I get really hyper when I write things that I feel really passionate about ;)

  13. Person A - reminds me of a teacher I had in school. Needless to say she hated me. :|

    Person B - Sounds like some of my relatives unfortunately.

    Person C - remind sof the Indian population at large.

    Person D - I wanna smack such guys hard, very hard.

    Person E -go get a life and stop checking out the albums of people half your age!

    Person F - same as person D.

    Person G - Didn't know we Indians were that great at research!

    I'm not too sure how this "love" thing goes, but it seems like before you fall for someone you need to ask him/her "Excuse me, before we start getting to know each other, can I please know your caste/religion?"

    Anyway, very well thought out and executed. :)


  14. very nicely put and expressed...

  15. Hi Dhanya, am shruti here....Read your blog on the narrow mindedness!!! Completely agree with what you say..I go through them many a times, though am independent-working-traveller-drink occasionally-party...BUT, It does'nt come easily I need to convince ppl around me and ta times ASK to do few things on my hurt at times!!!
    Good write up ! take care

  16. I LOVE this post. Even the fact that such talk makes you angry says so much about you :) Such questions must be answered, here are some more answers....

    Person ‘a’ : Girls should be totally independent - only then the society will progress, remember some of them will be mothers tomorrow? Many others will be mothers and successful enterpreners and career women too.

    I think we fear independence in women because then if they are hit or abused or simply incompatible, they might end a relationship - this simply means we want women to accept our decisions not because they respect us but because they have no choice (i.e. they are dependent)

    Person ‘b’ : Parents can't guide the children everywhere, all their lives, even birds understand this.

    Person ‘c’ : Clothes are the first sign of people being free to choose... to each his/her own.

    Person ‘d’ : Gender inequality has got us nowhere, and what if a girl does not have a husband? Husband-centric living has got girls nowhere, except being killed in the womb/burnt alive/killed in the name of honor... I think it's time girls (like all other humans)learnt to lived for themselves.

    Person ‘e’ : Parents should only see who makes their children happy, in these times real culture is the kind of education and upbringing we have had. If we have raised our children well, we must support their choices, their happiness before our peer group.

    Person ‘f’ : "If my future wife doesn’t listen to me, I would probably hit her."
    - Please let her know these terms and conditions before you marry her.

    Person ‘g’ : How a girl dresses has nothing to do with her house keeping skills, in fact if she is stylish, there are chances that she will keep a stylish home :) Glamourooms for bathrooms, a modern and clean looking home... but not necessarily. Of course a person with simple taste could have a lovely house too, and anyway the house will be a reflection of the personalities of both the partners.

  17. finally a perfct description of me...

    "Person ‘f’ : If my future wife doesn’t listen to me, I would probably hit her."

    phatak ! phatak !

  18. Great Post!! :D

    It saddens you??? It MADDENS me!!! Seriously, you sound like a really calm person..good for you! ;)

    Totally agree with every word you said there!


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