Saturday, June 24, 2006

A Little Alone

There are times when you feel you are a good-for-nothing. You hope the phase passes. A 'I understand' from anyone will work wonders for you. But it remains unsaid. Instead, you get told you are wrong. Maybe you are. But nevertheless, you look for a little consolation. If you don't, you still keep looking.. from anyone.. even from the most unexpected people. Then, by chance even if you get a little comfort and care, you start thinking you are not a good-for-nothing after all.

In my case, I have very few people who comfort me when I am depressed. VERY few. That would include my parents. No one can comfort me like my mom does, no one can understand me like her. The kind of care you are looking for can only come from your parents, coz they never see your behaviour as shameful. You will forever remain their little, sweet angel. And I have learnt (maybe the hard way) that you cannot expect this behaviour from anyone else.

So in case you are feeling alone, depressed, worthless.. just take time to talk to your parents. You will realize you are a precious gift who no one can replace. That all your worries about yourself are just pointless, coz you realize you are special. That only your parents can love you unconditionally for what you are...

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Be Sporty!

Why are there so less girls playing Indian sports? I watched cricket controversy yesterday, and they were debating on the subject. We have only a handful of talented female players out there like Saina Nehwal in Badminton, Sania Mirza in Tennis. But the other sports seem deprived. Especially the physically challenging ones like Football. Why is it so ? Agreed, we women are weaker than our male counterparts. But it is not about taking part in a national team or anything of that sort. Why not play just as a hobby?

In Bahrain , I always saw girls playing basketball , football, volleyball. When I came to Kerala, it was mostly Badminton and Table Tennis for girls. Mr.Navjot Singh Sidhu might act all aggressive when he says parents are not encouraging their daughters to go out and play such games. But the truth is India is not safe even if we keep saying ‘All Indians are our brothers and sisters’ now and then. When a ‘cultured’ man like Mr.Sidhu says things like ‘Even if I do not know the game, I will watch it because such pretty people like you are playing’ ( He was talking to the pretty, young football player also in the show). How could he expect every single guy to just ‘watch’ them ? Especially since so many guys in our country act as if they have never seen a girl before. Girls playing a game like football just might be too much for them.

The fact is, if girls start to play basketball, football in India there will be an audience. But most of them will be guys who are interested in just staring and drooling. They would not even know when the game has ended. Remember, I am just talking about ‘go out and play as hobby’ part. Not playing in a national team. I mean security is better if you are in a national team. There will be security guards around. But what about the girls who want to play near the streets or in a deserted area ? Is it safe for them ? Badminton and Table Tennis can be played within the boundary of one’s home. But games like Football ? Can they be played within a small, well protected area ? I think not.

Take the instance of our ‘home away from home’. Guys stay back to play games, but girls always rush to their hostels or houses. Girls are not even willing to play such games at their colleges where they know everyone !!! There might be less teasing, but still there are guys there… who ( like I said before ) act as if they have never seen girls. They gossip ( Yeah, guys do that !) and hoot and whistle.. Ugh! Who would want to play in such conditions? Definitely not me ! And if I were a protective parent, I wouldn’t want to let my child to play in such conditions either. So, Mr.Sidhu.. before you jump into conclusions, its better you investigate your daughter’s playing environment and ensure that she is safe and sound.

Thursday, June 08, 2006


Whenever I read a newspaper or even a magazine.. there will be a huge ad waiting which almost shouts at me to do LASIK treatment. The first thing that goes in my mind - 'Would it be painful?'. Then since, I would not be undergoing the treatment anyway, the answer would likely be 'I am sure it is, and it is sooo expensive'. The fact is, I want to try it out. But it is a permanent change. So there is the fear inside, which is getting on the way. And the fear is justified, coz contacts did not work for me. The vision was better when I used glasses. Maybe coz of the mixture of astigmatism and myopia..

The next detail I usually search for is whether this treatment holds for a mixture of both eye disorders that I have. Well, it did.. it can cure myopia ranging from minus 1 to minus 20 diopters(!) and astigmatism too upto 8 diopters. So that problem is solved. And there is no pain involved it, just redness and irritation after the treatment. And you are not supposed to rub your eyes or splash water into them for weeks..! Yes! The last detail gave me enough reason ( scared cat! ) to not do LASIK... I mean how can you live without splashing water into your eyes ? And what if something gets into your eyes.. you might be just dying to rub your eyes coz of the irritation !!!! And anyway, people have recommended me to use specs instead, because when I am not using them my eyes enlarge and look as if they are going to explode ( maybe coz I cant see without them...I am blind without them ,really)...

Anyway, even if you want to do LASIK its available in India. And the best treatment is at Kochi I think which costs about 25,000 rupees. Yeah! Go do it ! Gain cofidence ! Gain beauty! Gain .. what not.. by doing LASIK. Silly advertisements!

The Good Days

Before I joined college, everyone close told me 'Enjoy your days at college to the max... those days are going to be your best days ever'. I never considered them seriously. It was yet another 'Join college, do your work and go away' thing. Now that they are coming to an end, there is a sense of sadness. You can't be so free and irresponsible anymore. Coz NOW you are grown up. You arent a gawky teenager anymore. You are mature and ready to take on the world. In my case, I am still gawky and immature... Oh, well...

Just like I missed school, I am going to miss college too. After all, I bunked classes for the first time at college.. yay! Roaming aimlessly on the corridor, getting caught and being asked questions like 'Don't you have class now ?' And you, unsure what to say eventually end up saying something stupid which you yourself cannot decipher.

The next question is 'Now, what ?' Studies, job.. ? The option for marriage is not there.. I am so sorry ! I am not ready to sacrifice my freedom so early. And the real truth.. I am not ready to take up the responsibility. When I am ready, I will marry. I hope.. one day...