Thursday, December 08, 2005

Sticky Glue

No, I am not going to talk about the advantages and disadvantages of the usage of glue, but actually about people who are like sticky glue. There is nothing wrong with that. Some people can adjust to such people but not me. I am a person who needs a lot of space. Blame it on the abundance of it when I was in Bahrain. Now that I am in Kerala, I still do get my space but the problem is when I go to my mother's house. Don't get me wrong, I love all the noise. But the sudden lack of privacy is a bit too much to handle for me. When you sleep , there are people around you doing various things - talking, laughing, running around, and just making noise. I see my cousins sleeping soundly amidst such commotion. The funny thing is they cant rest in peace, when their surroundings are quiet !

I like all the fun and noise once in a while. Not on an everyday basis. But my cousins ( all part of a joint family ) cant spend a day without it. How can people survive without dedicating a small fraction of their day to themselves? I feel its very important to do so, just to get to know yourself better, know what you want from life.

Anyway, getting back to the sticky glue part, I hate anything clinging on to me, even if its a sticky glue ! I never let the glue get on my hands even by accident when I am using it. It makes me feel icky. Same goes with people. I do not like the idea of getting way too close to people such that they end up clinging on to me and expect me to do everything with them. I know a few friends who are like that. They sit only with each other and no one else, they talk only to each other and no one else, they eat, they study..... Why do people restrict themselves and their friendship to just a few people ? Whenever anyone tries to enter into such a relationship with me, I try to stay away for a while. Maybe because of the fear that one day even I might get entirely dependent on them. Maybe because of the fear that they might leave me forever one day...

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Time travel

Ever wished to go back in time and rectify your mistakes, or do things in a better way ? I have always wanted to do that.. If you had a fight, you can just go back in time, and change ur past such that it never happened.. if you are going to flunk in an exam, then study better, go back to the moment when u were writing the exam, write it better and come back to the present.. wow ! That would be something...

It would be so much better if we could manipulate time according to our own needs.. play around with it. Yeah, I am getting greedy here, but today I got a little hope while watching tv. A scientist said it is possible to go back to your past, and also into the future. Here, the time machine is created not in the form of a box or anything which u can get into.. but a number of laser beams. It is said that lasers can change the orientation of the space you are in. And since space is related to time ( according to Einstein's theory ) it is possible to change time too. These lasers arrange space and hence, time in the form of a loop, so you can go from present to past, past to future, future to the present. Of course, this has not been implemented successfully yet.

What is kind of weird is that scientists got the idea of developing a time machine when they saw a 'super man' movie. Super man just goes round and round the earth, rotating the earth in the opposite direction so as to move back time. He did this to save his girlfriend :). So this got the scientists to think. What the super man did was not entirely rubbish, they said. It is possible to time travel if one moves in the same speed as light. Which is not possible at all.. but then they say its possible. Mad scientists. How can anything or anyone travel in the speed of light ? I am better off than them... hmmph... But whatever it is, I hope they do invent a time machine fast. And make it available at a cheap rate. So we normal people can use.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Anger Control

I have been getting very angry a lot nowadays. Making me feel stressed out and tired. Even the slightest of things make me feel uncomfortably angry. What makes me angry ? Even, I dont know. The incidents which make me angry now wont affect me much later on. It started with the trip to Kodai when I got angry at one of my uncles.

The place that we stayed in Kodai did not include food providing facilities. So we had to get food from outside. After horse-riding, he insisted that we kids ( yeah, kids) have dinner at 6.30! Whoever feels hungry at 6.30 ?!? Not me. Then he said the adults will have their dinner packed up, which will be eaten later on at the place we stay. I got so angry.. I asked him if he would get me dinner if I feel hungry at 10.00 pm. He just smiled and gave some lame excuse. The food getting cold so it is better if we kids eat food at the hotel where the food will be warm and that they are helpless for some reason due to which they are going to bring their food to the hotel. But the adults got the people in the hotel to warm up the food.. I wonder why my mom did not slap me then and there itself. She hates it when I raise my voice at anyone in the family. Lucky day, I guess..

From then on I have been getting angry for the silliest of reasons. I think the weather of Kodai affected my brain *gulp*.. Since I did not have problems when I was a teenager. I think I am showing symptoms of the normal 'teenage behaviour' now.. Some people just grow up late, I guess..

Thursday, November 17, 2005

On a personal note...

I have been feeling restless lately... When I sit, I want to stand and run around.. When I stand, I want to sit down again... Yeah, call me mad if you want. But whenever I feel a bit weird, I listen to music. The effect it has on me is amazing. The thing is, I dont listen to music which go according to what I feel at that moment. When I am sad, I listen to really fast, racey music whereas whenever I am happy I like listening to soft, romantic tunes.

Anyway, I was the princess of the house at my mom's sister's house when I visited her on saturday. She made me eat and eat... 'eat eat, my child, how thin you are' (a line from a 10th standard poem.. my favourite one ). I like prawns and she had happened to cook prawns that day... she said something like how we are related by the heart, thats why she cooked prawns the day I came though she was not aware I am fond of it. Made me laugh, but it was extremely cute and thoughtful....

Monday, November 14, 2005

News update

Just posting about the events which I feel strongly about, that are being splashed everywhere in newspapers :

- Khushboo's arrest for discussing about pre-marital sex. She said pre-marital sex is no big deal which caused a tamil women's association to press charges against her and hence the arrest. Its so absurd. She was just giving her opinion about it . There's nothing wrong in that. We Indians are getting hyper for the smallest things including the smoking scenes in films. If the talk and films influence the youngsters, then I must say we have the most stupid population of youngsters from the world. A youngster is not only influenced by what his/her favourite people on tv do. He/she is also influenced by the people in his vicinity. Not all youngsters are die hard fans of movies, but they still end up smoking. So if a ban has to be placed it should be placed on smoking in open areas. Better still, smoking should not be allowed anywhere... Getting back to Khusboo's case, the police should arrest the people who are into pre-marital sex rather than arresting people who comment about it...

Maybe our Indian community expects too much from stars. Khusboo's 'temple' was broken down once people learned she got married to a man who already had a wife. And they would have never guessed a famous personality to say all these things. Moreover, she had a second marriage.. that makes her even more 'sinful'.

- The Volcker case has been going on for some time. It was kind of shocking to know that Natwar Singh and the Indian congress party are said to be involved in the oil-for-food programme and their supposed link ups and friendship with saddam. Natwar singh is saying with full confidence that he has nothing to do with anything in the case. But Volcker has stated otherwise in his report. Whats the outcome of this case, only time can tell ... till then stay entertained with this daily soap opera on ur local news channel ..

-The next one which is even more exciting is the return of abu salem to India with his girlfriend ( now he has claimed Monica Bedi is his second wife ). The forged passports, the underground links.. Monica Bedi sure has proved if she cant provide entertainment on-screen, she can do 'very-well-thank-you' off-screen.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Will you marry me ?!

Marriage. The very word ignites a feeling of responsibility. A sense of maturity. In India, for men this ‘responsibility’ can be undertaken at the age of 21 or 21+ . For women, at the age of 18 and thereafter. They are then considered mature enough to deal with the traditional institution of marriage. I think it’s a bag of hogwash. How can a girl of 18 age be responsible enough when she is only getting to know life. Yes, a girl is physically mature enough, but mentally ? Leaves a lot to be desired...

At my household, the moment a girl enters the tender age of 18, the talk of marriage arises. The talk of saving enough jewellery NOW, so that your girl has enough to wear on her wedding LATER is a very common thing. But I think its more resident in Keralite Hindu families. I have been hearing about my marriage plans since I turned 18. Nothing pisses me off more, than the idea of my future marriage. Come to think of it, I am not even ready to take good care of myself. I am not yet aware what life means and there is so much to explore. Wont marriage chain me up ? Reduce whatever little freedom I am having right now to grow ?

PS : I would like to deviate from the topic and to my million *ahem* viewers who are interested in new fantabulous sites, heres one - http://electricnightmares.blogspot.com

This site is created by my dear friend Anu and its fantabulous because her first post is dedicated to me where she insists I am a bad girl and since I am the one who keeps listening to all her rubbish.

EXTRA NOTE FOR ANU : Dont worry Anu, no one will visit your site ( in case you dont want anyone to ) coz they will have to SEE this post first which I doubt considering my million viewers will be too busy to come here :p And if you do want people to visit your site, then... hmmm... DONT WORRY.. tera number bhi aayega :)

Thursday, November 03, 2005


This is the new Merc-Benz McLaren. The new love of my life. This 1750 approx. kilo beauty satisfies the fast-car loving types as well as the luxury-car seeking people. It has enough space such that it is said to accomodate two golf bags with ease in its truck and also has an air conditioner which has ice cold cooling facilities ( my mom would love that part ) . And it does not cost much. Just 435,000 dollars which is approximately equal to 2 crore rupees. Not much at all :(

I would love to get it as a birthday gift ( intended to my million viewers ) .. I am not asking for too much , am I ?

Frankly speaking, I am just in love with the look of the car. Sleek and Sexy! But whoever is going to buy it for me, better buy it fast. There are only 500 of them , and 140 of them are for the Americans alone. Well, considering the cost.. a Merc Benz McLaren might be available anyday to buy..

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Education or Money ?

During my trip to kodai, since the blasted bus did not have a CD player.. we had to make do with talking. I can say I had one of the most fruitful discussions in the bus with my cousin. I asked him a question 'Is education more important or money ?' and he said education is. I begged to differ. Education is important. But why is it such that a lot of people with good education do not have enough money ? There are a lot of 'brainy' people with a good knowledge in their subject not even getting the opportunity to showcase their talents. Is education enough ?

Definitely not. Then he told me having a good education is not the prime factor. The skills are also very important. He/She should be able to possess the skill which will drive him towards a better future or in other words build his career to get more money. But thats not the point. 'Education with needed skills' provide money. But education alone does not. Whereas if we have money, we can provide ourselves with a good education. Let us not consider the skills part. Thats a different topic altogether. And then again if we can get a good money-oriented job from the good education then blessed we are !

Getting back to the education part, people who do not have enough education are earning a lot in the Gulf. And they have not even earned a major degree specialising in the field they are working in. Whereas in India, the person will not stand a chance to get a job. Even if he does, the money paid would be crap. I am not saying education is not important. It is. It makes understanding one's field in a better way. But its not the be all and end all of everything. You can still get a good job if you are talented enough. I feel education can never ensure good money, but money can always ensure a good education. I am not a totally money oriented person, but I would be bluffing if I say money is not important at all. Even the basic needs of our life come from money. A tube of toothpaste, a toothbrush.. you get if you pay. So whoever feels money is not an issue are lying !

Saturday, October 22, 2005

BookWorm

Have been a bookworm right from birth. Though, I am not getting to read a lot nowadays, there is still the craving to read more. Recently, I borrowed a book from my cousin when I visited her last week. Her house is stacked with books mostly because her husband is a book freak. He has a shelf full of books. I make a pledge not to look at them next time I go there. But that has never been successful. I still keep looking. And I end up borrowing one of them.

In Bahrain, I used to read a lot more because my dad used to buy me books. But in Kerala its not the same. Mom is always on a money saving spree, so I never feel like telling her to buy me anything. Feeling a bit frustrated I subscribed to Reader's digest online because it cost only about 350 rupees for yearly basis. So mom is satisfied and so am I.

Anyway, let's get back to the book I am reading right now. Its called 'Chances' by Jackie Collins. Its extremely fast paced exactly the way I like it. Even if it tends to lot of perversions ( quite a lot actually ) its still enjoyable and the storyline does not drag like a Danielle Steele's. I dont think I will buy any more books of Danielle Steele's. I wonder why she keeps on dragging all her stories. The last book I read of her's is 'Golden memories'.. Oh God ! Dont even ask how it is.... D - R - A - G !!!! I nearly slept reading through half of the book but continued thinking it would get better. Blah ! Big expectations gone right into the dump. Anyway, love stories have never interested me. I usually like the fast paced, adventurous, horror filled, murder mysteries.

No book discussion is complete without Harry Potter. I have all six parts and they are all priceless. I did not want to borrow and read, just for the pure selfish reason that I myself wanted to own all the harry potter series. If Harry Potter was alive, I would have had a severe crush on him surely. It would be heartbreaking if he was going to die in the last book as rumours go. Its amazing to see how old and young people alike adore harry potter. Even my cousin's husband ( the book fan ) borrowed my 'Harry potter and half -blood prince'. He was so ecstatic when he received it from me ... 'wow ! excellent !' are the exact words he said to me. And his daughter - Anju -who never used to glance towards these english books, has become a harry potter fan and is spending much time reading ( not one of her favourite hobbies). Good to know, Harry Potter is making reading a tempting process for youngsters like Anju..

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Hey Kodai !

Went to Kodaikanal for two days. Was not that cold. But it provided a nice and happy atmosphere for me and my family with all of us enjoying as if there's no tomorrow. Here are some of my most memorable moments :

1.' Guna' cave - Its not exactly a cave as such. Then whats there to enjoy you might ask ? The pure adventure of travelling the jungle side which provided a sense of mystique and intrigue to me. Thats what excited me. Felt like as if I was in a Jungle Book and I was the female Mowgli. Ok, getting back to the cave. I mentioned it did not look like a cave like we see in movies and national geographic. It looked more like a deep deeep ( 1000 feet )pit. And one person ( one Kerala MLA's son )also died in there and his body was recovered 500 feet below the cave after many years. This was mentioned on the entrance of the cave and some danger sign was also there. Pretty horrifying to say the least.

2. A fat monkey stole 'bytes' from my cousins Priya and Anju. That was the most hilarious scene of all. Anju just decided its better to give the monkey what he (or she) wants rather than clutching on to the packet.

3. MY FIRST HORSE RIDING EXPERIENCE ! It was simply awesome. I always dreamt of having a horse. So it was more than satisfying just to ride on one. Felt like Jhansi ki Rani and out to fight for justice.

4. Boating experience - went on a two seater peddle boat. Me and Raku were in one boat. We thought everything was going on normal until the mist came in and we could not see anything or anyone near us !!! That was another adventure, trying not to hit other boats. Looks like the mist came just for us.

Then there was the trip to Palani temple where I climbed 675 steps. Me is so proud of meself because me did not faint. Keep it up dhannu ! Was worried my mom would get tired though. Thankfully she did not.

Next we are planning a tour to Bangalore, Mysore etc next year same time. I strongly feel going out to visit places with ur family is an altogether wonderful experience even though you dont get to act crazy like you do when you are with ur friends. But these kind of tours only make you feel more connected with your entire family and make you feel refreshed and oh-so-happy!

Monday, October 03, 2005

God only knows

You do not know what decision to make, which is the right way to go.. who do you turn to ? God. Whenever more than one solution to a problem arises and when I do not know which solution to take, I think praying is a much more better option. Praying always helps, and it is good to know that someone is out there who has the most supreme power who will guide you and ensure you choose the right path. And you are never let down if you pray hard enough and with all your heart.

When you feel everyone is out there just dying to see you having made the wrong decision, you pray and tell God all your feelings, frustrations and hoping everything turns out alright. I, myself, am a very good person and I have never ever prayed for something wrong to happen to anyone. I hope no one does that. But that is not possible I guess. Even if one does, I know God will not answer his/her prayers but instead shake His head at their foolishness. My vision of God is such. Always listening, responding definitely even if sometimes the solutions come late, and forever guiding us towards the right path. I believe in God.

I know it is foolish, but there are times when I feel I am His favourite child who does no harm to anyone, and someone who He likes to play with sometimes.

But the playing is alright, because ultimately He always answers..

Thursday, September 29, 2005

View from the back

Before you start getting any dirty ideas, the heading is just a reference to the views that I get by sitting in the back bench of my class. Its only during this sem that I have started to sit there. Well.. what to say ? You get a good view of what your classmates are upto. Lets leave the listening to the teachers part, because I did not listen much to them even when I was sitting in the front bench :)

I was ( as usual ) getting extreeemeely bored with the lectures, and the sheer ignorance of my fellow 'bench' mates, and shifted my attention towards the activities of the class. It gave me the satisfaction to know that there are other students who were just as bored as I was. There were students who were busy having a conversation that were clearly not study-based considering their actions. There were students who were making an attempt to build the perfect paper made rocket. And the poor teacher is just standing there trying desperately to bring forth her point .. and to make her voice audible.

Then there is the liberty of sleeping in class, because it is not exactly good manners to sleep right in front of the teacher's face ( even though I used to do that ). This is the time you feel at home. You can get a bite out of a biscuit sitting in the back bench with the teacher not noticing ( school time memories ) and even get to do some message passing via chits of papers. Will never get these fun filled moments again after college is finished. How fast time flies...

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Whatever

Ever had one of those days, when you feel your head is going to explode ? When you feel irritated at the slightest hint of movement and want to destroy the source ? I am just having one of those days. No reason, whatsoever. Just that everything seems to irritate me today. So I decided to write in here again, this sudden urge to do it.

My bad day/depressing day is in dark contrast to my happy days. A much evident contrast. Nothing makes me smile, even a sound can make me want to scream. So what do I do ? Nothing. I just go and sleep.. and hope I will feel better ( I usually do feel better). And mom keeps asking me 'are you angry today?' which makes me want to scream even more. But the nice child I am, I sit silent. So she thinks am upset about something. But theres no reason at all.

Maybe, when I feel entirely bored I feel like this. When you feel happy, and there is not much happiness around you feel like this. How you hope the world was as happy as you were, so that YOU can live happily. When I get happy, I become really hyper. So I can understand why people cannot be as hyper as I am.. but atleast half of it.. hmm. Will not be possible, so I think I will just stop accusing and go to sleep...

Monday, September 19, 2005

Oooh, baby !


Today, my sis called. She was telling me how Naksha loves doing her homework ! And insists on doing more than is assigned to her! These children nowadays...

I remember when she was a baby, she used to give all these cute expressions, which would not be so funny on an adult.. because those were the kind of expressions an adult would make and you rarely see small kids using them. And she says such stuff, which I have never heard kids of her age say..

I have heard that Mozart's classical music stimulates the neurons in the baby brain and actually helps in mathematical reasoning when the baby grows up. Well, Naksha has not been listening to 'classical' music as such. But I wonder if any kind of music does the same trick. I know its a bit too early to consider Naksha as intelligent. But there are so many instances I feel so. Sometimes, she blabbers as if shes going to deep cosmic thoughts... finding out the reasons for everything, answers to questions she need to know only later on in life.

Maybe I am just over imagining things...

Talking about baby intelligence, I knew a kid ( my tuition sir's daughter) who could say the pythagoras theorem at age 3. And the basic mathematic formulas like (a+b)^2. She was one intelligent little girl! The way she used to move around, and the look she used to give us.. made us all feel like fools. When one of my classmates could not tell sir what is (a+b)^3 he called his daughter and asked her to tell us. She looked at her father as if asking him 'have you gone nuts to ask me such things ?' and without any pause she went on to say it with the most amazing ease. Oh well..

Friday, September 16, 2005

The Walk Of Life


The day when you are born, you are not even aware of anything around you. Life is so much more carefree, and you have almost everyone to cater to your every need.

But as you grow, you find less and less people giving you the same affection as when you were a kid...and you find that the world does not fulfil your every wish as you hoped it would. You feel a little lonely too..

Then there is always the greed to find something that would make you satisfied both in your profession as well as your personal life. Man is forever searching..

I can say I am in such a phase now. I do not entirely know what Iwant and will be satisfied with life once I know and hence therafter, achieve my goals.

I guess,one can never remain satisfied in his/her early years. A young mind always needs something extra. Even a good job will not do any good. 'I know I am capable of much more' will always linger inside you. The hunger always pushes one forward, to try a little harder. And once you achieve your goals, wow.. I am sure the feeling must be quite something else.

And when you have achieved entire satisfaction.. then there is a much deserved peace. Your responsibilities have become lesser, you have more time in your hands. Then the child within you just re-emerges.
More people have time for you. They cater to your needs again. And of course, then comes the time when you have had enough and decides to leave to a place which is much more predictable.

Comes to a fullcircle - this walk of life.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

The death of a celebration

Now that Onam celebrations have started. I cannot help wondering it is not the same anymore. I remember when I was a small kid, I used to sit on the verandah of the main sitting room in my mom's house where I could see my aunts and cousins dancing around the flower-filled circle. What do I see now ? Practically nothing. Just people gossiping, wearing nice bright dresses. These are all part of bringing a family together I agree. But what about the traditional practises associated with the celebration ? It all seems to be fading away fast.

Another thing I happened to observe is the decline in the pookalams set up outside the houses. Out of 10 houses, I may have passed on the road, only 1 or 2 have them. And Onam is considered to be the festival of flowers. If there are no flower decorations around anymore, what is the main significance of Onam.. ?

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Wet Wet Wet

It's raining cats and dogs here. Looks incredible. The raindrops on the tips of leaves, the cool atmosphere and the coconut trees swaying to the rhythm of the song I am listening to right now ( yeah, its by wet wet wet) ... would make everyone feel happy as long as they have one hot cup of tea on hand. And in some cases, like mine, even a Reader's Digest would suffice.

I read an article in Reader's digest which was based on anxiety. It was the article for me, because I am quite an anxious person. The article laid an insight into the lives of anxious children, and how they overcame it. The total percentage of girls having anxiety disorders are more than boys. Why ? Coz boys let go of all their frustration and anger more easily than girls who tend to keep their feeling deeply confined within themselves. So what the doctor prescribed ? Writing down your feelings into words .

And I think it does work, putting down what you feel about stuff into words. Once in a while, I come in and write about anything I feel like and it helps. Not necessarily what I am feeling at the moment, but about anything. And then I realize I am worried about lots of things unnecessarily because I have other things to be really happy about. And if things just go wrong, just change your priorities and go in another way. I know its kinda stupid if one is not the 'write down ur feelings into a book' kind of person.

Those kind of people are really lucky. He/She does not need an outlet to express their feelings. But there are some kind of people who cannot necessarily tell everything ( like I cannot dream of talking about all this to my mom.. she wont understand half of what I am saying ) and the people you know cannot tolerate much of this talk. So once in a while you like being yourself, cutting the crap and get to some serious thinking ( which I cannot depend on my college mates ) and here is where I come in.

So if you feel like talking something, but you do not have an audience, then just write it down and read through the content. You will feel as if some light burden has been uplifted from your fragile mind. And you feel more free...!

Monday, September 05, 2005

Another day in paradise

Another day has passed. And I feel satisfied and good and happy even if nothing extraordinary happened today. Maybe its just the direction of the planets..hmmm... Mars is supposed to be closer to the earth according to one forward I got. Is Mars the reason for my happy go lucky attitude ? Naah, I think its just me. I feel blessed ...

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Curious mind

Was just seeing 'clickonline' on BBC and they suggested a website - darkartsmedia.com. The curious mind of mine just wanted to know what the website is all about and hence, immediately after the show was over I went online and typed the URL. Of course, I thought it would be a new experience for me altogether. But when I saw the topics about banshees and ghost cams .. to be totally honest, I was kinda freaked out. And I thought 'what the hell, it can't be that scary'. And I clicked on the 'banshee' media and the first message was so comforting - 'please wait while we wake the dead'.

But that did not make me go away. And the media started. I saw one figure walking on and on. Hey! Thats not so scary after all. But I noticed I had not increased the volume. So, I increased and... well.. the woman who was blabbering had an eerie voice so I just closed the website ! :)

Its so weird.. we do things that we know might freak us out. But something inside us pushes us forward because we are always searching for new, interesting things to amuse us, to entertain us. And in the end, you might even regret that you had done it. For instance, I keep on watching scary movies. After the movie is over, I end up getting nightmares. But once a new horror movie releases, I end up watching it. I am not the one to blame, just my curious mind !

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

All that glitters IS gold

Yup.. that's my mom's motto. And she got me one gold ring as a present. Its got nice pink stones on it. My fingers are all decorated with rings now... I look like Bappi Lahiri female version ( hopefully not that bad) . Anyway, I love em all. If it were not for the exams, I would have loved all the extra sweet attention that I was getting. But at the moment its like 'oh! aah! nice... aaaack! got to study'.

I know I sound like some stupid geek.. but I dont know whats happened to me. Feel like studying for a change. Which is good, coz I never feel like studying. And mom even told me I have been studying extra hard, not like the 'real' Dhanya who would laze around even one day before her exams. Oh well... ooops.. aacckkkk .. got to studyyyy!

Till next time.. me signs off!

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Mother-child interactions

Got up and started fixing the walkman I have. Sigh ! Took a cotton bud and started cleaning it up with the cotton dipped in spirit. Not working right ! Anyway, feeling a little cranky at the moment. Afternoon naps always does that to me. Had a discussion with mom regarding a boy who was living in his grandmother's house.

Apparently, this guy was left to stay with his grandmother's place because his parents could not suffer him. "He is that much a nuisance", thats what my mom told me. And then she told the boy's mom was always beaten up by her husband. So I was arguing with her that the reason for the woman to tell his son to live with his grandparents, was that she was afraid he might get beaten up too. If the stupid man can beat up his wife, why not her children ? Then she told me, that the son was against her too.. That was kind of a shocker. I guess it is just a crazy world we live in. You can never figure out who is right and who is wrong...

It was a nice feeling when chechi called up again. She was telling me how Nakshatra has the act of 'fainting' to show chechi that she is feeling very sleepy. Little Nakshu is feeling extremely sad about her school days starting again. I guess that will change, considering the astrologer told my sis that Naksha is going to a scientist and will travel the entire world... Wow ! That surely would be something...

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Better late than never!

Ok, am back... after a really long time. Sorry to neglect you... so much work to do lately.

I viewed a few blogs yesterday, and it was amazing to know how some of my former classmates are doing so well in their respective fields. I just happened to type some names in google.. and presto! I gathered all the info I wanted regarding the person. Internet makes the world so much easier to cover.. and the irony part of it all was that the excellent students of my class have gone on to become majors in maths and physics.. while me - the average student - takes on engineering...

I think I took the whole idea of doing engineering just to satisfy my parents. I mean, in 12th I did not have any idea of what to do... so, hey! if I can take maths and study.. so why not engg ?? I wanted to do something more related to me, like psychology or something.. I have always been fascinated by the idea of understanding a person's natural behaviour, why he does so ? What all aspects lead him to the way he is... has always interested me right from childhood. But when I suggested that to my parents.. well , they had an expression which showed they were clearly disappointed.

No one from my family has got an engineering degree.. well, no one from my mom's side of the family. It was really her wish for me to do some higher level of education superior to the normal degrees. And she was incredibly hurt when my sister did not complete her education let alone satisfy my mom's dream for her to become a doctor. So I guess it was upto me to fulfil her wishes..... Anyway, no regrets whatsoever.... I am happy with my life at the moment. I have met great people, I have become a better person. And like someone said 'All that happens, happens for the best' !

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Right on top!

Yup! Thats how I feel at the moment .. right on top ! Studies going on well, personal life looking up.. the world seems wonderful all of a sudden. My next semester is going to start day after. I hope the teachers are ok. I hope they don't trouble me. I hope they will let me sleep in class....

Will be back...

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Exam Fever

Exams going on. Feeling extremely cranky at the moment. But as I love you ( my online diary), I decided to come online just for you. My dear online diary, you should have seen the amount of crap I wrote down in my paper today. The day's exam started wonderfully. I found out that the topics that were not supposed to be there, miraculously ended up in the question paper. I looked here and there at every other student's face. They didn't look shocked. So maybe it was only me who did not know.

Anyway, that exam ended and the next exam was about to start. Just before landing up in the exam hall, I was informed about the protocols which I did not study. I ended up leaving three questions, just like that. I was scribbling down on the paper in the hope of atleast getting a pass mark. I wrote and wrote. Even I did not know what I was writing. And everyone else must have thought I have wrote everything. Dear diary, only I know.. and you too.

Friday, June 17, 2005

NRI problems

Hello again !

Considering this is my second post, I thought I will come directly to the matter that affects me the most. Being an NRI. I know being an NRI shouldnt affect me at all. But it does. Right from childhood, I have seen presents being given to my cousins and not me. Why ? Because I can probably afford it. And they cannot ? Of course, they can. No one at home seems to understand that even I yearn for such love and care. The love and care which others can give me apart my parents. I mean, parents love is important. But hey ! They love you even if you are good or bad.

Now am 20, and such things do not affect me anymore with that much intensity. Though it returns with a bang sometimes. If I get the love I deserve, only then I would be able to return it.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Hello !

The idea to create a blog has been running around in my mind for weeks. I did create a blog initially. I just dont remember the password. Anyway, I liked the process of undergoing the registration part ( choosing templates, the URL and the works) so much, I decided to register again even though I ended up using the same rosy template again.

Ok, the purpose of this blog is mainly to serve as an online diary. To express my thoughts, my frustration which I think I will never be able to express to anyone being the quiet and introverted person that I am.

Online expression of views is more reliable (at least for me). At least , they wont reach the prying eyes of my mom. She used to spy on my sister's diary. So I thought it would be best if I kept an online one.